Journal, Thoughts

Dear Charliee-Rose #1

Dear Charliee

Sometimes I stop processing things, and other times my thoughts are so large I feel like my head is this infinite space I have no way of fully exploring and finding out more about. I get these dreams sometimes, they make my head spin and when I wake up everything goes fuzzy ’round the edges and it’s like for a second, just one second, despite it all, everything’s perfect.

And then I write them down because… Charliee, I want every atom in me to remember.

-2018/09/12

I haven’t been dreaming lately and I miss that. I miss waking up with a slightly achy feeling in my heart and a ghost of a smile on my lips at the memory of how real everything felt in the moment. Like the sky could’ve been pouring down gasoline but the memory would make everything perfect

x

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Journal, Midding, Thoughts, Writing

boy talk

Over the past few years mental health has become a topic that more and more people are talking about. And that’s great, because we’ve been silent about it for too long. However, it’s come to my attention that we aren’t talking. Not really. Because we seem to be forgetting that mental health issues affect everyone. And it seems that people think mental health disorders are only affect woman. That mental health disorders are selective.

They’re not.

I know a lot of guys that are expected to act a certain way because guys can’t cry. And guys can’t show their feelings because it’s unmanly. Because it makes them weak.

NEWS FLASH FOR ALL OF THE MALES WHO DIDN’T KNOW OR WERE TOLD OTHERWISE:

Having feelings and needing help and having mental health issues, doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you human.

In a world where girls are brought up being told to use their words, boys are told to “man up” and”grow a pair”. We forget that boys have problems too, gender bias is causing us to neglect the mental health of boys everywhere. And that needs to change.

Boys feel insecure

Boys get bullied

Boys cry

Boys.Have.Mental.Illnesses

We live in a society where boys are told to conform to this unrealistic macho man image. And we need to wake the hell up and start addressing it. Because this is bullshit. Because this is not okay.

Mental health affects everyone. So to every single male out there, a small reminder that struggling with mental health doesn’t make you weak, so fuck anyone who made you feel like you had to be silent about it.

-C

Currently listening to, 44 More by Logic

(Originally posted on my other blog, Klexos)

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Journal, Thoughts

it’s taken me a while…

It’s taken me a while.

To be fair the past year has more or less consisted of me… trying to make things go back to how they were before.

And then I came to the realization that, life doesn’t work that way. This realization came to me this morning and I was speechless. Had I really spent more than six months trying to be the person I was last year?

I spent yesterday and today re-organizing my thoughts. If you know me, you know by that I meant I tossed things around randomly until it was chaotic but semi-understandable.

The past two days have consisted of taking photos, writing and music. It’s been exactly what I needed it to be. I have a new blank canvas now, two, actually. And this time, I’m taking a different approach to this whole… what am i even doing with my life crisis. I’ve written 5 blog posts in the past two days, on a completely different blog I created yesterday and it’s become this intricate beautiful mess and it feels really good to not care about if my posts are the way they were a year ago.

xxxChips

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Journal, Thoughts

Things I’ve Learned in 1 year of blogging🌿

Heyy everyone

So this is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while and I’ve finally gotten a chance so I proudly present you with:

1.BE YOURSELF

It’s easy to put on a mask.But it takes guts to be yourself. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s that people relate and love honesty.Be yourself.Love yourself.And don’t be afraid to let your freak flag fly.

2.BE GENUINE WHEN REPLYING TO COMMENTS

I didn’t learn this one all on my one. But shortly after reading #Girlboss I started Seventeen Wishes and responding to comments in a genuine way and not getting caught up in seeming a certain way has helped me make friendships with other bloggers and get to learn more about myself and other people. I’ve learnt that people will always love the real you more than a mask🌿💕

3.DON’T BE AFRAID TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE

You’re a blogger.And you should be proud of that! Don’t be afraid to mention your blog or market or share your posts on your social media either.I know it can be frightening but believe me when I say it’ll work out, don’t be afraid to take a chance.

4.DO THE MOST

Blog about the things you love.And things that interest you and don’t be afraid to try something new if you find your current niche no longer works for YOU.

5.DON’T DO IT FOR THE VIEWS

There is nothing wrong with wanting your blog to be successful. But at the end of the day,at least in my opinion,blogging shouldn’t only be about the numbers. Make sure you’re writing for reasons that matter and are important to YOU.

6.GIVE IT YOUR ALL BUT DON’T FORGET TO LOVE YOURSELF

If you decide blogging is for you then I encourage you to try your best. Blogging is full of excitement and endless learning experiences.If at some stage it becomes to much don’t be afraid of taking a break, loving blogging is great but don’t push yourself to the point where you burnout.And even if you do experience burnout, it’s OKAY. Don’t rush the process of taking time to focus on yourself.💕

So that’s it for this post,I hope you enjoyed it ❤️

xxxChips

“Flower child with a rock and roll heart”

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Journal, Thoughts

I’m back. I think.

Heyy everyone

So tomorrow, would have marked a month since I’d last posted anything. I’m truly sorry for not posting anything for so long but I really couldn’t bring myself to write anything except sad, moody poetry.

A month away from blogging felt like a lot longer than 30 days. And it gave me a lot of time to think, think about myself as an individual and the direction I want Seventeen Wishes to be going in. I didn’t come up with any solutions just a lot of new songs, poetry and mixed emotions.

So I decided to ask you. All of you. What you think, as well as what you like and don’t like about Seventeen Wishes. The things you would like to see more of and the things you don’t enjoy as much.

xxxChips

I don’t care what your mind says

You deserve to be happy

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FROM THE ROOTS UP 🌪

Nebulous/adj.1.in the form of a cloud or haze;hazy. 2 (of a concept or idea) vague or ill-defined.3. Astronomy relating to a nebula or nebulae.

Derivatives :nebulosity,nebulously;nebulae


I want this blog to be raw.A space,that isn’t, filtered. And in saying this,I write this post for me.And I write it because for me blogging is the therapy 5 days out 7.

Everything feels weirdly spacey, like my brain’s turned into mush but my thoughts are swirling around my head;orbiting around this planet my psychologist is only beginning to understand.

It all feels so hazy. It’s like swimming in a pool with fog surrounding you,and you feel extremely disoriented and you’re trying to push through and get to the other side but it’s so extensive that you don’t even know which way you’re going and whether or not it’s the right way.

Several things have happened lately that I want to share with you. Firstly after years of me knowing it :I was diagnosed with depression and a severe mood lability.

Honestly I’m not even freaked out about it, at first I felt relieved,because let me tell you that there is no better feeling than knowing that what you are going through has a name and you’re not going insane.Because that’s literally what it felt like.The funny thing is that I figured this in grade 3;the depression part,not the other thing, and nobody believed me.And honestly I don’t know how a 9 year old figured it out but I did and I did tell someone but they were so condescending and skeptical about it,that I just didn’t talk about it with people. Maybe that has something to do with me having trust issues or the fact that I have trouble expressing myself if it’s not on WordPress,in my journal or in the note section of my phone,I forget where I was going with that-It’s been happening a lot lately.

And then the part that I had felt so certain about in the beginning:high school,my future and everything else that comes with that. All of it, mapped. All summed up in my head,with the most intricate of details;gone. That imperfect future;the one with flaws that was still every bit as magical with all the flaws;the one my mind weaved up and conjured into this living,breathing idea isn’t what I thought it would be like.

So for now the music takes me, takes me back to when things weren’t so fuzzy and messed up and my plans were still perfect.

I’ve also been messing up a lot lately,simple actions that even a 5 year old could perform well are beginning to seem like rocket science to me. I just feel like I’m in this big bubble and I’m floating and I’m here but my mind is just so scattered and so full of everything and nothing that it feels like my head is going to burst open and leave all my thoughts on the floor like confetti for everyone to see.

We reached 200 followers and there are people who I want to acknowledge and thank for that specifically but I’ve set the wrong mood and it wouldn’t make sense to do it now,so that post is coming. I hope it makes you smile,because all of you make me so happy and I’m ever so grateful for all of you

But for now, to quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I want you to know that I am both happy and sad. And I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

xxxChips❤️❤️

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