Thoughts

women empowerment tag

The Rules:

  1. What does women empowerment mean to you?
  2. What woman/women do you most admire? Why?
  3. Share with us a story, drawing, or video that you think says “empowered women.”
  4. Share with us the best lesson you’ve learned in leadership
  5. What cause do you most want to bring awareness to? Why?/What does it mean to you?
  6. Tag 5 inspirational, powerful women to do the same.
  7. Link your post to https://mylifelines.co/women-wednesday-women-empowerment-tag
  8. Tag us on Twitter (@my_lifelines) and/or Instagram (@mylifelines_) with #WomenWednesday.

 

What does women empowerment mean to you?

I honestly use this quote so much but I feel like it just puts everything into perspective and it’s kind of exactly what I’m trying to get at

“Teach girls less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings”

I refuse to be a woman in a box, in a category, I’m not here to please anyone. I’m not here to conform to anybody’s standards but my own. And to me, women empowerment is all about breaking the barriers that not just other people, but us, as women put on ourselves.

What woman/women do you most admire? Why?

Chloe

I’ve mentioned Chloe before in my “my favoruite bloggers”  that I did a while back. She’s strong and she’s bold and one of the most incredible people I know.

I have a lot of feelings. I’ve always been the type of person who feels in 14ft waves, my emotions are big and messy and untameable and as much as I love that , I have so many moments where I wish everything could just stop and I could feel the way everybody else feels and my emotions wouldn’t be so deep.

And 12 year old me stumbles upon Chloe’s blog. And Chloe is one of the only people I know who knows what that’s like, and her word brings me so much happiness and comfort and her whole blog and everything about her is just super special. That being said, she’s also really sweet.

Claire

My cake sister, my writing buddy and so much more! I recently wrote a post about her new series The Dating Process, you can find it here. Feminism and women empowerment is a major theme in the series and I loved it to bits. She’s constantly inspiring me, and encouraging me and it’s super hard to describe how much she means to me because I can never find the right words or phrase it well enough. I look up to her so much and I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if it wasn’t for her.

Gayle

Half model, half angel. 100% someone I look up to and aspire to be like.Since day one she has been a constant source of inspiration, she’s always so keen to empower others and help and give advice. Her work ethic is incredible, she puts her all into everything she does and it shows when people respond to her writing or even just her as an individual.

And it’s not just that, in the short time I’ve known her she’s become one of my closest friends.

We recently collaborated together so go check out my guest post on her blog Answering Assumptions About Mental Health and her Friday 6PM post

Emily

I’m going to try my best to not ramble on

and on

and on

about how much of a queen Emily is. I started following on Emily a while ago, it was around the time that I decided I only wanted to follow people that inspired me and made me want to be better and were similar minded. And I don’t even remember how, but I stumbled upon Emily’s Instagram but after looking at her Instagram stories and her posts my mind instantly went ‘this is the type of person i want to be able to say i am’.

She’s funny and sassy and real and relatable, she’s another incredible writer on my very long list of favourites.

She speaks out about the things that matter to her, one of which is mental health, something which you all know is super important to me. And she’s one of the people who gave me the confidence to start speaking out about my mental health and mental health in general. Which I am so so thankful for.

 

Other badass women:

Leilani Münter; Sophia Bush; Hayley Kiyoko; Kenzie Brenna; Gracie;

 

Share with us a story, drawing, or video that you think says “empowered women.”

 

Share with us the best lesson you’ve learned in leadership

Everybody has their own strengths. And I think one of the most important things you could do would be to give everybody an opportunity to showcase them.

Also communication is really important.

What cause do you most want to bring awareness to? Why?/What does it mean to you?

Mental health. I can already tell it’s something I will advocate for, for the rest of my life. I’ve struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember and I want to make sure that I build a community where people feel comfortable talking about their mental health and emotions and thoughts and understand that they are valid, regardless of what anybody else may tell them.

I want to educate people and raise funds for people who can’t afford therapy or medication.

I remember how hard things were for before I found blogging and even now I still have really awful moments where I go to really dark places and I don’t want that to ever be something anybody has to go through. And if it is, then I will do whatever I can to help and be there for those people. Always.

But other than that:

Violence against women; violence against POC, violence against the LQBTQ+ community

I tag:

Gracie

Jasper

Gianna

Elina

Anybody else who wants to be a part of this wonderful tag!

xxxChips

*I take no credit for the image used

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Journal, Thoughts

if we were having cheesecake #1 and #2

This post if going to be long. I wrote the first post in this series in December and then freaked out because I thought I’d posted it and found out I didn’t and I just didn’t post it after because for some reason it made me anxious BUT it’s a new year and I’m happy and I can explain why without giving you an insight into what December was like for me.

Written:December 2018

HEYOOO

So I’ve been wracking my brain for something to write for the past few days. Mainly because none of my content is pre-planned and I tend not to write if I don’t have inspiration. Which is a blessing and a curse, because I like that my writing is emotion driven and the only way I can really do that is by not planning posts in advance but at the same time there’s always gonna be a possibility of me not posting for ages because of school or like personal stuff.

Basically, I’ve been kind of stuck and I was looking at some blogs trying to find inspiration,which I did btw (we’ll see how long that lasts) and I came across these ‘if we were having coffee’ posts. The idea is pretty simple, it’s basically like a chatty update.

Previous Chatty Update Posts

Chatty Update(again!)

a bit of a mental health update

CHATTY UPDATE

So whilst I do drink a crazy amount of coffee, when people who have followed my blog for a bit (lmao such a huge assumption) hear my name it’s associated with my obsession with cake. Which is why I was like, forget about coffee, let’s focus on something important and decided to call this ‘if we were having cheesecake’.

I’m kind of a genius

ok GIF by yvngswag

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you all about my unpopular opinions.

Like how marshmallows taste weird, and Joey and Rachel were the better couple. How movie remakes are ruining my childhood memories, and how tea has literally no taste whatsoever and therefore coffee will always be better.

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I’m concerned about my memory

I write posts and publish them and then half an hour later have absolutely no recollection of what I wrote and I’m only 14. That’s not normal, is it?

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I haven’t really been sleeping

And I 100% blame it on my racing thoughts and that I get really stressed and anxious at night and have to drink coffee in order to calm down. Scientifically speaking, which I shouldn’t even be saying since I can’t do science lol, your brain never stops working but  it feels like mine is in overdrive. Two nights ago, I literally went through my life plan in detail for like 5 hours when I should’ve been sleeping and then I just walked around the house because my thoughts just couldn’t shut up.

If we were having cheesecake…I’d tell you that my phone got stolen a few weeks ago

It’s taking ages for the police to track down and the thought of not getting it back makes me nauseous. All my stuff is backed upon iCloud but you need a verification code to log in, and that code just happens to be sent to my phone whenever I want to log in.I have over a thousand notes from this year alone, and the idea of losing that feels like losing myself entirely. I’m not worried abut my contacts, it takes two seconds to DM my friends and ask for their numbers but I don’t think I would handle losing all those notes, and it worries me, because I can genuinely see how far back that would set my recovery.

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I’ve been in a slump lately

And that makes me feel pathetic. Even though I know it happens to everybody. It feels like everybody is happy, and I know that is the furthest thing from the truth and there are thousands of people who wear masks everyday but it doesn’t feel like that, it feels like I am alone. And it’s not like I can’t reach out, I mean can I talk to my family about it, not really. Do I have friends that would be more than willing to help me and talk to me and be there for me, yes. But I don’t want to be that person. And I know that everybody needs help and that doesn’t make me weak or any less of an independent person but I don’t want to be this huge burden to my friends. Not when I have feelings that are so much larger than myself and thoughts that keep me up all night and a million insecurities and I can’t stay happy for more than five seconds before I slip into periods of depression or anger, not when I have moods with more twists and turns than a rollercoaster.

And maybe it’s because I have this deep rooted fear that they’ll eventually abandon me, that I’ve been lugging around since grade 2. Who knows?

But that being said I think it’s crazy how my double standards work. Tbh, I rarely give advice. I don’t know how to. Which is why I feel like the whole writing about my feelings thing, works. Like I’m probably never going to be able to give you advice but I feel like the reason people say I “help” them is because they somehow learn something from my rambles and from my experiences but that being said if I was to tell you that I’d always be there for you. I’d mean it wholeheartedly. And when i say that i mean call me at 2am, DM me, text me, whatever. If you need someone, I will 100% be there to support you regardless of what’s going in my life. I know a lot of my friends are the same way.

But when people say that to me, at first I’ll be like I definitely will and in the moment I do mean it. But then when I need it, all my insecurities come into play and I won’t talk to anyone about it. I mean I’ll probably write about it, occasionally post it on here but apart from that I literally won’t say a word.

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you I had no idea this post would end up being so depressing.


 

Now fast forward to today, it’s the 2 February and I should be at school attending the compulsory tuition for grade 9’s BUT I don’t sleep during the week and I wasn’t about to haul myself to school on a Saturday.

Mood summary: I’m happy, lowkey stressed but I’m at a 2016 level of happiness and that’s major!

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I’m so glad I decided to start Friday 6PM. That it’s been amazing interacting with everyone who’s participated, and learning from other people’s stories and that it makes me happy because I’ve wanted this for so long and it wouldn’t have been possible without you, so thank you!

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you all about how grade 9 is hard. I’m coping with everything except math. My teacher didn’t even start from the beginning of the textbook, he flipped to a random chapter and started teaching and I’m so frustrated. Basically this week I’ve done NOTHING in math class. Not that he didn’t teach, I didn’t understand. I generally don’t do math in class because not understanding it frustrates me and makes me feel like a total failure and I rarely cry over school but the times that I have, have been because of my inability to do math. Which is why all my classwork gets completed at home in case I feel a need to cry because I don’t cry in front of people. So yeah, math is hard and business studies is stupid, all of  it makes less sense than it did before and I have a science test on Monday.

I’ve never wanted to be online schooled more.

If we were having cheesecake... I’d tell you my phone got replaced, even though a year’s worth of thoughts and feelings and writing is still gone, I’m okay. And I’m back on Snapchat so go add me, my recent on Instagram was super cute too. So go show it some love.

wp-1549092583799.jpg

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you about how I’m no longer in a slump. I have a ton of creative energy and I’ve been working on my WIP  and I have a collab coming up soon. And I wrote a short little piece on what feminism means to me for Olivia’s other blog ‘Faces of Feminism’, you can find it here!

But for now school still exists and I should be studying.

xxxChips

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Thoughts

the less than adequate math student’s guide to not failing

Don’t even @ me, if none of these work. I probably failed too.

I’m kidding, totally kidding*

It’s that time of the year, and as always I’m late with a post that should’ve gone up earlier but had to be rewritten because I accidentally deleted it and forgot about completely but hey, it’s here now.

*I’m being deadly serious

These tips aren’t anything special, and I have no doubt in my mind that you’ve heard them before but you’re here, still reading, which means whatever *insert person’s name here* told you was a lie and you’ve come to me to save you.

Which is probably the worst thing you could do considering my math grades have been filled with D’s since the third grade.

Are you still reading?

Wow, you either have tons of faith in me or are just using this time to procrastinate. But I’ve wasted enough of your time so here you go, 3 things that might just save you:

Youtube

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against teachers. I think they’re wonderful people and my English teachers give me good grades I don’t deserve but some of them lack what all my English teachers so far have had: the ability to get me to understand whatever irrelevant topic they’re teaching

Which is where Youtube comes in. And it won’t just solve your issues with math, it’ll save you in a bunch of other areas too.

Fall asleep during class and have homework assigned to you which you don’t understand? Youtube. Looking for more ways to procrastinate? Youtube. Trying to figure out how to achieve Cara Delevigne’s eyebrows? Youtube.

Just type in the topic and thank me later.

Holidays

This is for all you angels who did the bare minimum throughout the entirety of 2018, somehow passed and are now in a predicament because you know your lack of work is coming back to bite you.

Use the time you have during the holidays! Now I’m not saying everyday because NOBODY (me) cares enough about a grade to do that BUT taking some time away from your busy schedule mainly consisting of watching Gossip Girl reruns won’t hurt you.

I basically buy my textbooks in advance and then start learning the topics beforehand, not in a bunch of detail but enough so that I’m able to understand what’s going on.

This saves me from looking like an idiot on the first day because I’m able to understand more than just the first 5 minutes of the lesson.

Make Detailed Notes

Math is about all about practice but practice won’t save you 10 minutes before your final math exam when you realise you don’t know nearly as much as you thought you did. But the notes you made next to the million math problems you forced yourself to do will. Make them basic. Make them easy to understand, we’re talking 5 year old child understandable.

Just make sure you have them.

breaking bad help GIF

And that’s it. You don’t have to by me flowers or anything, besides, I prefer cake but I would like a shoutout in your valedictorian speech.

But if this advice doesn’t in fact save you, remember math is stupid,you’re incredible and you don’t need math or a grade to prove your worth.
xxxChips

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its not 11:11 but here’s my one wish for you in 2019

In 2019,

I hope that whatever happens you choose to love yourself and be happy. And not give up when you feel like those aren’t options anymore. You’re incredible, even if you don’t see that yet. I believe in you

I love you endlessly

xxxChips

Thank you for putting up with me, and loving me and caring and being you. Thank you for being the reason I didn’t give up completely, and for being the reason I got back up. I appreciate you. And you will always be more than just a pretty face.

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my 2019 goals|blogmas 2018

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that his year hadn’t gone the way I wanted it to. For the longest time I stopped trying, I just…didn’t see the point in anything.

Starting the year off that way, I feel, was the reason the rest of the year more or less continued to be filled with a lot of sadness and more-than-occasional self loathing. But I can’t pretend the year was all that horrible. I made new friends, stayed in touch with a few of my old ones, watched my best friend’s dream of writing a series come true and had the honor of having my name be in the dedication. I travelled, ate a corn dog for the first time, hit a major blogging goal of mine and opened up more on here.

There have been high highs and incredibly low lows but overall I’m not as happy as I want to be. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that sometimes happiness is a decision. There are bad days, that’s normal, but the only way you get past that is by actively trying to create some sort of change,and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

changing my life in 365 days

a list of things i will achieve in 2019

Listen to new music

Music has always had a major impact on me. Recently, my sister and I were having a conversation about mental health and our lives and one of the things that came up was how changing the music she listened to impacted her happiness. To summarize what she said it was something along the lines of ‘it’s comforting to listen to ‘sad’ music but at the end of the day nothing changes, it’s just you listening to the same music and you’re just replaying the same sad events over and over again for months’ and that made perfect sense to me.

In 2019, I intend to say goodbye to some of the songs I used to listen to, in hopes that if I stop replaying the past I can make a future for myself that makes my heart happy.

Join a sports team

One of my major goals for 2019 is to get my health at a good place. I spent a bunch of time in and out of hospital being treated for anemia and it was the most frustrating thing ever. Mainly because I was too weak to do a lot of things. I stopped doing sport at the beginning of April, as some of you may know I ended up in a mental health facility or to put it bluntly, rehab. For some reason I just haven’t been able to get back into being active again. I stopped exercising completely, which is why I figure the best way to start is at full speed.

Friday 6PM

If you haven’t already seen my post about this super exciting, super special, super important blogging series I’m starting in 2019, you should.

I just…

I want to give this my all. I want to make myself proud, and make you proud, and start a conversation, and help people, maybe even be part of the reason they decid

Invest in my future

Save. Save. Save.

Learn Russian

I think I’ve said this before, nope, I definitely have but I’ve wanted to go to Russia since I was 3 years old. That hasn’t changed. In fact, I probably want to go more now, than I ever have before. I’ve been learning Russian for the past few months but in between school and life, I’ve completely fallen off track. I need to get back on the bandwagon.

Be more social

Over the past year, I’ve become more and more anxious about social situations. The thought alone of having to make conversation or be around people was enough to give me a full blown panic attack. This isn’t the type of thing you jump straight into, it takes a bunch of small steps and I’m willing to try them, I don’t want to do anything halfway. I want to be able to contribute to conversations again and not have to question what I’ve said or what they’re thinking. I want to be able to do public speaking and debating again, I want my voice back.

Drink more water

People always ask me why I don’t have pimples, and everyone’s expecting me to give them this fancy facial routine and I can’t because I don’t have one. Truth be told, I’m too lazy to come up with one so water has been the one and only thing keeping my skin somewhat under control.

Speaking of skin, Em Ford has this new series, Redefine Pretty which I definitely think is worth a watch. Whether or not, you struggle with finding confidence in your skin the message is super important.

 

Work on my mental health

I have every intention of putting myself first in 2019. “Mental health over every damn thing”.

Write everyday

This comes along with my goal of improving my writing. The thing about blogging, and just writing in general is that they’re a million different ways of doing it and I want to experiment with that. My writing has improved majorly over the past year and that’s solely because I put so much effort into everything that I wrote, and whilst at the time I didn’t do it every day, I have since July and it’s already made such a difference.

It doesn’t always have to be these long flowy paragraphs sometimes it’s just, this is how my day went and that’s okay.

Organise my life

The last time I remember having my life together was January, right after I posted my How to Slay 2018 blog post and then life happened. I want to get back to the point in my life where I had a system that worked for me because that made school and blogging a million times easier. I’ve already kind of decided on the system I’m going to use, I used it back in 2017 when my life was still very busy but having that system made it a lot less chaotic.

Anyway Blogmas is coming up so you’ll be hearing all about that later.

‘Happy things’ journal

I know Jenna Koenig had something similar to a happy things journal except hers was for art. Mine is probably just going to consist of things that make/made my heart happy at some point. I think the main reason I thought of this was because it’s super easy to think of all the bad things in a situation and you never really pay much attention to all the positives and sometimes you just need a reminder.

Start my own K’s journal

My brother has this notebook where he writes all his observations?? I’m 99.9% sure observations isn’t even the right word, anyway, it’s full of quotes and thoughts and the other day I found one in the notes section of my phone. One of the things I loved about reading that note was that I found it at a time when I needed to hear that kind of message, that and it’s kind of like everything he says/thinks comes out sounding deep and philosophical and I love that.

Which is why I wanted to start my own because he wouldn’t let me have his lol. I just think it’ll be really cool to look back on this someday and have this book full of things that I learned/ got me through moments of sadness/chaos.

Rate my mood everyday

I could’ve put this under work on my mental health BUT I tend to forget about this type of thing if it’s not written separately. I’ve been using the app, Pacifica to rate my mood for the past week and it’s helped majorly. Once you’ve filled in your ‘mood entry’ it offers a bunch of suggestions to improve your mood/day, it makes finding the positives in each day so much easier and I can’t recommend it enough.

xxxChips

What are your goals for 2019?

Lets chat (4)

 

 

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Journal, Thoughts

a bit of a mental health update

I don’t want sympathy on this post, I really don’t. I just need someone to understand that whilst they’re days when I feel capable of doing anything, I still have days where I lie in bed thinking about how I don’t like my body, and how I’ll never catch up with school and how I wish I had something to say instead of having to constantly write posts like these when I feel like I’m drowning or overwhelmed.

I just, wanted things to happen a certain way this year and that didn’t happen, and now I find myself in between a mix of self love and acceptance and hating everything about myself.

And I can’t help but think, life shouldn’t be this hard, why is it so hard, why is happiness something I feel like I have to chase after?

But I have no way of answering that.

Recently I went to see a psychologist, my first one since moving and it was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. An hour of her invalidating my every emotion, and then her trying to discredit my diagnosis and saying I was more or less trying to make a big deal out of things.

I have only felt an anger that extreme at one other point in my life.

From the very beginning I’d been unsure about finding help in this country, and if I doubted I would get help whilst I was here before, well now I’m certain.

For those of you who don’t know, the official diagnosis I was given was Bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified) and basically what that means is that whilst I don’t meet the criteria for Bipolar 1 or 2 the changes in my mood are still significant enough to be considered “abnormal”.

And whilst I was medicated for a while, that kind of got put on hold abruptly when I moved. To put it simply my views on medication are as follows:

If it helps: great

If it doesn’t: Maybe it’s not for you/ you need a different dosage or different medication

And since we’re on the topic of medication, there’s a few things I wanted to say,

I feel like a lot of people have felt like they were in a position to judge or make comments about me being medicated when they weren’t. See, the thing is UNLESS YOU ARE THE ONE STRUGGLING, 99.9% OF THE TIME YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR THE PERSON WHO IS unless you’re a medical professional, and even they mess it up sometimes.

So here’s what you shouldn’t do when you find out someone struggles with mental health problems and/or find out someone is taking prescribed medication to help them cope with those problems:

  • tell them they don’t need it
  • tell them they’re over-reacting/faking their issues
  • tell them that they’re too young to have all these issues
  • call it a phase

(all of which someone has said to me at one point or another)

Because none of the things listed above are helpful, or supportive or kind. They come from a place of ignorance and lack of understanding.

So instead of invalidating their feelings, tell them you’re glad they’re taking steps to get help. Tell them that you’re there to support them, and listen to them if they ever need someone to talk to, and then remind them, because it’s so easy to forget.

xxxChips

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Dear Charliee-Rose #2

Dear Charliee

Today I met someone, well yesterday actually.

-2018/10/17

She’s unconventionally beautiful and it’s just… I’ve never felt that kind of instant connection to someone IRL, she radiates warmth like her name is the very definition of summer, talking to her feels familiar, exciting. She’s got this gorgeous soul and you can tell she’s genuinely interested in making you feel loved and comfortable. With her it’s like free falling but you know she’ll always catch you. She speaks four languages, Turkish, Turkmen, English and Russian and I think that’s pretty cool-that she took the time to learn all that. She wants to be an English teacher someday, and that made me really happy, idk why, maybe it’s completely unrelated, but for as long as I can remember my English teachers have always been the most inspirational, creative, wonderful human beings. I had a 15 minute conversation with her, and that’s short but she changed a lot of things for me and not many people have that ability. She makes me want to be better

-a conversation with M

x

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