Thoughts

women empowerment tag

The Rules:

  1. What does women empowerment mean to you?
  2. What woman/women do you most admire? Why?
  3. Share with us a story, drawing, or video that you think says “empowered women.”
  4. Share with us the best lesson you’ve learned in leadership
  5. What cause do you most want to bring awareness to? Why?/What does it mean to you?
  6. Tag 5 inspirational, powerful women to do the same.
  7. Link your post to https://mylifelines.co/women-wednesday-women-empowerment-tag
  8. Tag us on Twitter (@my_lifelines) and/or Instagram (@mylifelines_) with #WomenWednesday.

 

What does women empowerment mean to you?

I honestly use this quote so much but I feel like it just puts everything into perspective and it’s kind of exactly what I’m trying to get at

“Teach girls less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings”

I refuse to be a woman in a box, in a category, I’m not here to please anyone. I’m not here to conform to anybody’s standards but my own. And to me, women empowerment is all about breaking the barriers that not just other people, but us, as women put on ourselves.

What woman/women do you most admire? Why?

Chloe

I’ve mentioned Chloe before in my “my favoruite bloggers”  that I did a while back. She’s strong and she’s bold and one of the most incredible people I know.

I have a lot of feelings. I’ve always been the type of person who feels in 14ft waves, my emotions are big and messy and untameable and as much as I love that , I have so many moments where I wish everything could just stop and I could feel the way everybody else feels and my emotions wouldn’t be so deep.

And 12 year old me stumbles upon Chloe’s blog. And Chloe is one of the only people I know who knows what that’s like, and her word brings me so much happiness and comfort and her whole blog and everything about her is just super special. That being said, she’s also really sweet.

Claire

My cake sister, my writing buddy and so much more! I recently wrote a post about her new series The Dating Process, you can find it here. Feminism and women empowerment is a major theme in the series and I loved it to bits. She’s constantly inspiring me, and encouraging me and it’s super hard to describe how much she means to me because I can never find the right words or phrase it well enough. I look up to her so much and I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if it wasn’t for her.

Gayle

Half model, half angel. 100% someone I look up to and aspire to be like.Since day one she has been a constant source of inspiration, she’s always so keen to empower others and help and give advice. Her work ethic is incredible, she puts her all into everything she does and it shows when people respond to her writing or even just her as an individual.

And it’s not just that, in the short time I’ve known her she’s become one of my closest friends.

We recently collaborated together so go check out my guest post on her blog Answering Assumptions About Mental Health and her Friday 6PM post

Emily

I’m going to try my best to not ramble on

and on

and on

about how much of a queen Emily is. I started following on Emily a while ago, it was around the time that I decided I only wanted to follow people that inspired me and made me want to be better and were similar minded. And I don’t even remember how, but I stumbled upon Emily’s Instagram but after looking at her Instagram stories and her posts my mind instantly went ‘this is the type of person i want to be able to say i am’.

She’s funny and sassy and real and relatable, she’s another incredible writer on my very long list of favourites.

She speaks out about the things that matter to her, one of which is mental health, something which you all know is super important to me. And she’s one of the people who gave me the confidence to start speaking out about my mental health and mental health in general. Which I am so so thankful for.

 

Other badass women:

Leilani Münter; Sophia Bush; Hayley Kiyoko; Kenzie Brenna; Gracie;

 

Share with us a story, drawing, or video that you think says “empowered women.”

 

Share with us the best lesson you’ve learned in leadership

Everybody has their own strengths. And I think one of the most important things you could do would be to give everybody an opportunity to showcase them.

Also communication is really important.

What cause do you most want to bring awareness to? Why?/What does it mean to you?

Mental health. I can already tell it’s something I will advocate for, for the rest of my life. I’ve struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember and I want to make sure that I build a community where people feel comfortable talking about their mental health and emotions and thoughts and understand that they are valid, regardless of what anybody else may tell them.

I want to educate people and raise funds for people who can’t afford therapy or medication.

I remember how hard things were for before I found blogging and even now I still have really awful moments where I go to really dark places and I don’t want that to ever be something anybody has to go through. And if it is, then I will do whatever I can to help and be there for those people. Always.

But other than that:

Violence against women; violence against POC, violence against the LQBTQ+ community

I tag:

Gracie

Jasper

Gianna

Elina

Anybody else who wants to be a part of this wonderful tag!

xxxChips

*I take no credit for the image used

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Friday 6PM

Friday 6PM ft. Gayle

Get To Know Me Questions

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

Okay, this is can be difficult because obviously you want to make a good first impression but be completely honest at the same time, right? So, say if you walked up to me in a coffee shop and were like “hey I saw you over here typing really fiercely and kind of angrily on your computer, are you okay?” I would be extremely embarrassed because I probably forgot I was out in public and ramble something like this: “No, I was just really focused – I do that sometimes – sorry. I’m a blogger, I just get sucked into my writing sometimes, sorry for bothering you, I didn’t mean to. I’m okay, I’m just a bit awkward sometimes and I express myself a lot better through writing and art because I totally suck at expressing myself. I just hermit sometimes you know? I read a lot and – oh! I do photography – Sorry. Sorry for saying sorry so much but I really am sorry. Have a good day!” And continue to tell you my life story to try to mellow out the situation but really just make it worse!

What things would you say have shaped you as a person?

Ohh, I love this! What a great question! I would say

1) my family obviously, they’ve raised me and taught me to love others and that it’s okay to just be me, that I can be whatever I wanna be and to let my spirit run free.

2) This might be silly, but I feel like books have had such a big impact in who I am. I’ve experienced all of the characters struggles and agony right there with them, and even though they’re just stories, they’re real life lessons.
3) My mistakes. Everybody messes up sometimes and that’s okay, it’s part of being human. But what matters is if you learn from those mistakes and push yourself to be better!
What’s your big goal for this year?

Ahh okay, biggest goal for 2019?? You might wanna write this down (obviously so you can rub my failures in my face) *breathes deeply* to grow my blog big enough that I can turn it into my side-hustle and become an entrepreneur someday!

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Ten years is a long time…I see myself being 27 years old, settled down with a family, running my profitable blog from home while I homeschool my adorable little babies, and you know of course travel the whole entire world and meet every single one of you guys. Duh.
If you could have dinner with 3 people dead/alive who would you pick?
1) Chips, the obvious choice, who doesn’t want to have dinner with an angel?? …honestly just wanna skip 2 and 3 and cheat and have one big blogger convention and major sleepover – is that okay?? Please say yes, that would be a-maze-ing. Who’s in?
Who inspires you?
The entire blogosphere! Literally everyone is the best here, legit. How does this community not explode with so much love? My Mom! And I am not ashamed to say it! She encourages my plans for life because she wants me to bloom into my own person – who I’m meant to be.

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General Mental Health Questions

How do you suggest going about finding yourself?
This is a difficult answer to question because I’m still on the journey of “finding myself”. That being said, I have noticed a change in myself and can see myself growing. My tips – because this is what has helped me – is that before you can even begin growing into who you want to be, you have to accept who you are now. You have to accept that your flaws make you unique and that you are only human. You have to use your imperfections as strengths to push you where you want to be. And you have to accept that you will always have flaws, no matter how far you come, they are a part of the journey and a part of you.
Have you ever struggled to separate your problems with mental health from your personal identity and what advice do you have for people struggling with that?

This is a big question, and I’m not quite sure what you’re asking, but I think I get it, so bare with me! I used to keep my anxiety and depression in the same folder as the rest of me, I had accepted it as a part of who I was, even though I knew i wasn’t always like that I had convinced myself it was never going away so I might as well give up on trying to ignore it, right? Wrong. We don’t realize it, but we start to believe every thing that we speak. And think about how often we go around saying “I have anxiety” over and over and over. But I found a method that works, sis, and it’s all in your mind-set. Are you listening? I refuse to accept anxiety as a part of who I am. Instead of saying “I have anxiety” start saying “I’m moving through anxiety.”

How to get help when you’re scared to?
Having mental illnesses is scary. They make you scared of everything and besides that – you never know if someone is going to take you seriously or not – so it’s easier to just stay quiet. I get it, I’ve been there. But we all need to find the courage to speak out about it, because there are people out there who truly care, and you deserve relief and love. So, I would try to carefully bring it up with a close and trusted friend, a parent, or actually – start a blog and discuss it with other bloggers because mental illnesses are a very common thing. No, that doesn’t make them any easier to deal with, but at least you’ll know you’re not alone. Keep your chin up, lovely, you can do this.
What is the one thing you did or changed in your life that helped you improve your mental health most?

Mind-set. You’re thoughts are your most valuable asset, they’re what controls you. But technically, you control them so think happy thoughts! It’s a hard habit to get into to, but don’t stop, keep working, find a group that inspires you to take care of yourself and become the best version of you. Do whatever it takes to make it possible to love yourself. Please.

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Self-love

What do you love the most about yourself and have you always loved that part?
The fact I’m finally blooming into someone who is good and happy and productive and living! No I haven’t always loved this part of me because it has been buried deep, deep down inside of me covered by years of dust from my lazy inner demons. But I am finding an innocent love for myself again, and I couldn’t be more happy.
What 3 things have you learnt about yourself through your self-love journey?
1) It is completely possible to be happy again – don’t forget it, love, I promise you it’s possible.
2) I need to be thankful for my mental illness (maybe a love/hate relationship though), because it has made me strong and showed me just how capable I am of achieving my dreams no matter how strong something fights against me.

3) I’m a freakin’ queen for defeating my demons.

At what point did you decide self-love was really something you wanted to pursue and focus on?
Not to long ago – my boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me and I realized just how much I allowed my happiness to depend solely on him. After he was gone, I noticed just how lacking I was in finding happiness in simply being alive. The fact I wake up every morning, the fact I breath, the fact my body is capable of these feelings at all. I realized just how much I was missing, because I let my happiness depend on something that isn’t promised.

What’s your best tip for learning to love yourself?

Sis, you just have to give up and accept yourself for who you are now, in the mess and chaos, before you can move on.
What’s your version of self-care?
Self-care to me is everything. It’s taking care of yourself not only physically pampering yourself (though that’s important too), but also taking care of yourself emotionally and spiritually – because that’s where things get balled up.

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

Lets chat (4)

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Journal, Thoughts

if we were having cheesecake #1 and #2

This post if going to be long. I wrote the first post in this series in December and then freaked out because I thought I’d posted it and found out I didn’t and I just didn’t post it after because for some reason it made me anxious BUT it’s a new year and I’m happy and I can explain why without giving you an insight into what December was like for me.

Written:December 2018

HEYOOO

So I’ve been wracking my brain for something to write for the past few days. Mainly because none of my content is pre-planned and I tend not to write if I don’t have inspiration. Which is a blessing and a curse, because I like that my writing is emotion driven and the only way I can really do that is by not planning posts in advance but at the same time there’s always gonna be a possibility of me not posting for ages because of school or like personal stuff.

Basically, I’ve been kind of stuck and I was looking at some blogs trying to find inspiration,which I did btw (we’ll see how long that lasts) and I came across these ‘if we were having coffee’ posts. The idea is pretty simple, it’s basically like a chatty update.

Previous Chatty Update Posts

Chatty Update(again!)

a bit of a mental health update

CHATTY UPDATE

So whilst I do drink a crazy amount of coffee, when people who have followed my blog for a bit (lmao such a huge assumption) hear my name it’s associated with my obsession with cake. Which is why I was like, forget about coffee, let’s focus on something important and decided to call this ‘if we were having cheesecake’.

I’m kind of a genius

ok GIF by yvngswag

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you all about my unpopular opinions.

Like how marshmallows taste weird, and Joey and Rachel were the better couple. How movie remakes are ruining my childhood memories, and how tea has literally no taste whatsoever and therefore coffee will always be better.

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I’m concerned about my memory

I write posts and publish them and then half an hour later have absolutely no recollection of what I wrote and I’m only 14. That’s not normal, is it?

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I haven’t really been sleeping

And I 100% blame it on my racing thoughts and that I get really stressed and anxious at night and have to drink coffee in order to calm down. Scientifically speaking, which I shouldn’t even be saying since I can’t do science lol, your brain never stops working but  it feels like mine is in overdrive. Two nights ago, I literally went through my life plan in detail for like 5 hours when I should’ve been sleeping and then I just walked around the house because my thoughts just couldn’t shut up.

If we were having cheesecake…I’d tell you that my phone got stolen a few weeks ago

It’s taking ages for the police to track down and the thought of not getting it back makes me nauseous. All my stuff is backed upon iCloud but you need a verification code to log in, and that code just happens to be sent to my phone whenever I want to log in.I have over a thousand notes from this year alone, and the idea of losing that feels like losing myself entirely. I’m not worried abut my contacts, it takes two seconds to DM my friends and ask for their numbers but I don’t think I would handle losing all those notes, and it worries me, because I can genuinely see how far back that would set my recovery.

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I’ve been in a slump lately

And that makes me feel pathetic. Even though I know it happens to everybody. It feels like everybody is happy, and I know that is the furthest thing from the truth and there are thousands of people who wear masks everyday but it doesn’t feel like that, it feels like I am alone. And it’s not like I can’t reach out, I mean can I talk to my family about it, not really. Do I have friends that would be more than willing to help me and talk to me and be there for me, yes. But I don’t want to be that person. And I know that everybody needs help and that doesn’t make me weak or any less of an independent person but I don’t want to be this huge burden to my friends. Not when I have feelings that are so much larger than myself and thoughts that keep me up all night and a million insecurities and I can’t stay happy for more than five seconds before I slip into periods of depression or anger, not when I have moods with more twists and turns than a rollercoaster.

And maybe it’s because I have this deep rooted fear that they’ll eventually abandon me, that I’ve been lugging around since grade 2. Who knows?

But that being said I think it’s crazy how my double standards work. Tbh, I rarely give advice. I don’t know how to. Which is why I feel like the whole writing about my feelings thing, works. Like I’m probably never going to be able to give you advice but I feel like the reason people say I “help” them is because they somehow learn something from my rambles and from my experiences but that being said if I was to tell you that I’d always be there for you. I’d mean it wholeheartedly. And when i say that i mean call me at 2am, DM me, text me, whatever. If you need someone, I will 100% be there to support you regardless of what’s going in my life. I know a lot of my friends are the same way.

But when people say that to me, at first I’ll be like I definitely will and in the moment I do mean it. But then when I need it, all my insecurities come into play and I won’t talk to anyone about it. I mean I’ll probably write about it, occasionally post it on here but apart from that I literally won’t say a word.

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you I had no idea this post would end up being so depressing.


 

Now fast forward to today, it’s the 2 February and I should be at school attending the compulsory tuition for grade 9’s BUT I don’t sleep during the week and I wasn’t about to haul myself to school on a Saturday.

Mood summary: I’m happy, lowkey stressed but I’m at a 2016 level of happiness and that’s major!

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you that I’m so glad I decided to start Friday 6PM. That it’s been amazing interacting with everyone who’s participated, and learning from other people’s stories and that it makes me happy because I’ve wanted this for so long and it wouldn’t have been possible without you, so thank you!

If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you all about how grade 9 is hard. I’m coping with everything except math. My teacher didn’t even start from the beginning of the textbook, he flipped to a random chapter and started teaching and I’m so frustrated. Basically this week I’ve done NOTHING in math class. Not that he didn’t teach, I didn’t understand. I generally don’t do math in class because not understanding it frustrates me and makes me feel like a total failure and I rarely cry over school but the times that I have, have been because of my inability to do math. Which is why all my classwork gets completed at home in case I feel a need to cry because I don’t cry in front of people. So yeah, math is hard and business studies is stupid, all of  it makes less sense than it did before and I have a science test on Monday.

I’ve never wanted to be online schooled more.

If we were having cheesecake... I’d tell you my phone got replaced, even though a year’s worth of thoughts and feelings and writing is still gone, I’m okay. And I’m back on Snapchat so go add me, my recent on Instagram was super cute too. So go show it some love.

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If we were having cheesecake… I’d tell you about how I’m no longer in a slump. I have a ton of creative energy and I’ve been working on my WIP  and I have a collab coming up soon. And I wrote a short little piece on what feminism means to me for Olivia’s other blog ‘Faces of Feminism’, you can find it here!

But for now school still exists and I should be studying.

xxxChips

Lets chat (4)

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Friday 6PM

Friday 6PM ft. Bayance

Get to Know Me Questions

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

Ooh well usually I’d just start with my name, age and where I’m from. But if I were to describe myself, I’d say I’m a people’s person who isn’t afraid to communicate her opinions and feelings and that I’m very passionate about justice, communities and turkish dramas (just kidding on the last one but hey, they’re really good)

What things would you say have shaped you as a person?

I’d say Islam is number one. Without it, I would’ve been completely different and probably lost. Also my experiences with people, reading and moving schools and homes a lot (getting to meet different people and being faced with different environments).

If your life was a movie what would it be called?

Hmm… “On Her Way To Save The World…once she stops procrastinating” Okay I really don’t know but my life so far might be “Mentally 40” or “Not Your Average Teenager”? So original, I know.

Which 3 songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

Oh man. I actually made a post called My Life In Songs describing my music phases so hehe, self plug there. But as in life, maybe Brave by Sara Bareilles, Never Be Enough and Titanium? I honestly don’t know.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Finished University and possibly engaged? I also hope to go into law or a political field so maybe a job there.

Do you ever see yourself blogging full time?

Honestly if I got the chance to, I would. I don’t think so now because my blog is very life based and I can’t imagine it with millions of views haha. But who knows?

Who inspires you?

My parents are super hard working and I get it from them. Noor Tagouri inspires me as well but I’m trying not to follow people’s footsteps and be my own boss. And spiritually, I should look up to prophet Muhammad because he was the best of mankind and treated everyone with respect.

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General Mental Health Questions

What are your top five self care tips?

1.Smile (even when you’re not happy)

2.Reflect on your accomplishments no matter how small

3.Pray

4.Treat yourself (don’t go overboard but maybe a new outfit, a new meal..etc)

5.Take care of your hygiene and health (I need to follow this myself)

6.Bonus: TELL YOURSELF YOU BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE

How do you practice being kind?

SMILING! And complimenting people (it doesn’t have to be about looks). Just have a positive attitude and keep bad thoughts to yourself. It’s hard but with practise, being a positive person isn’t too hard.

What distractions do you find helpful?

I hate that I do distract myself but I really shouldn’t. Face a difficult situation head on and get it out of the way. But I distract myself by eating, watching Youtube and sleeping haha.

Does hearing other people’s stories help you manage your own mental health?

YES, it makes me so much more thankful and like I feel like I’m not alone. Sometimes people have advice for me and I have advice for them and it’s great connecting with people.

What do you think of the mental health area on social media that promotes/ romanticizes illness ?

ROMANTICIZES!! I know a lot of people disagree but ever since people started mentioning mental health a lot, rates have increased by SO much. I think people are having a hard time distinguishing between their emotions and name any hard or sad situations depression. And it sucks because now you can’t really tell the difference between someone who wants to be tumblr or someone who actually needs help. I think making mental health a little more private would be better. You don’t see people with cancer writing “very bad migraine today or back pain” on their stories. They seek medication instead which is what people should be doing here or at least talking to people privately.

Has being on social media affected your mental health and how?Do you think social media has a more positive or negative impact for someone struggling with their mental health?

NEGATIVE 100%%%. It has doubled my anxiety and literally anything I post I always second guess. Seeking validation has tried to suck me in multiple times and this drug called social media drains a lot of time spent on nothing and it just ends up making you feel worse because you’re constantly waiting for someone to message you and comparing your successes to other people. It’s terrible. In fact, yesterday, I unfollowed everyone on Instagram. Nothing to scroll hours on my feed and no stories that are so fake keeping me distracted. I’m done with it.

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Self Love

What is your biggest insecurity and why do you think you’re insecure about it?

Hmm my voice? It’s really annoying in sound recordings hahah. I’m not that insecure about my body anymore but maybe my face? Like I don’t know eyebags and I just don’t have the best structure at all angles. I honestly do not care anymore because I don’t understand why I’d thrive to look perfect. My body is healthy and functioning and my appearance doesn’t matter in the long run.

What was the first step you took to overcoming that insecurity?

I guess I just stopped looking in the mirror as often and weighing myself. I just didn’t care about the little details and focused on what I could control like my personality.

Do you have any advice on learning how to accept your flaws?

You are more beautiful than how you see yourself – I promise. We get too used to seeing ourselves but to someone else, we are beautiful in our own ways. Our flaws make us human and I think it’s important to remember that you do not need anyone’s validation to qualify for beauty.

Have you learnt to accept your body?

Yep! There are obviously times where I’m like wow this picture sucks with me in it but I honestly don’t care much anymore. It’s just a temporary structure that holds your soul and will decompose one day as well. It’ll be replaced with something better and it just reminds you that this life isn’t perfect. I feel like we ignore that our bodies isn’t what’s on the outside but the inside too. And I mean literally. Look at how your body works together – all the cells, nerves and neuron messages making up and protecting your body from diseases. God made us this way for a reason and we shouldn’t compare our bodies to others.

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Anxiety

What is your first memory of experiencing anxiety?

Grade 3 when I was overthinking. I was just thinking how we’re stuck in this sphere that’s rotating around the sun and how huge the universe is and how we’re going to die and the afterlife would be forever and aah forever and aah can I just undo my existence and aah it’s coming and aah time is passing by and gefyufbjhsj. I’ve accepted it and am now trying to work my way to prepare for what’s next but there are definitely still times where I’m still in shock with this all and how no one seems so sucked in to this world that they forget to really look around them and ask questions, me included.

What’s the worst thing about your struggles with anxiety

That the only way I can release it properly is to cry and pray. Which is good but isn’t too handy in public. So it just gets bottled up and I feel a pit in my stomach followed by a headache.

What’s your best tip for learning how to cope with anxiety?

Write it all down. Get it down on paper. Pray because God knows what’s in our hearts and what we’re struggling with and there are times when I’d be so overwhelmed and anxious and then after praying, I’d feel so relaxed like there’s no worries in the world. If you choose not to believe in God now, that’s your choice and you could always ask me questions but your soul needs care too and denying everything would just make it darker. Another way I cope is to cry. Your mental health is like a bladder sometimes and if you feel too much emotions, let it out. Just like how you’d pee or throw up, stress needs to be released too and I promise you’ll feel better after a good cry.

How has your anxiety affected your education?

Only last year. I was trying to work and the group behind me was talking really loudly and then I started to think about how I used to be part of a big group like that and then everything became so blurry and I started getting dizzy and my heart was beating fast and just all thoughts hit me at once and I had to leave the classroom. It sounds really pathetic but it happened a few times where I felt really down but it got way better. Sometimes we think bad days and feelings last forever but they don’t. I promise you, they don’t.

 

Thank you so much for having me, Chips! I loved answering these questions.

Bay’s blog

Bay’s Instagram

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

Lets chat (4)

xxxChips

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Friday 6PM

Friday 6PM ft. Jennifer Bethany

Be the person you needed as a kid…

I’ve been going on about this series for a while now and I’m so thrilled to share this with you. A big thank you to Jennifer, who this wouldn’t have been possible without and to all of you for your endless support and kind words. If you’d like to learn more about Friday 6PM or possibly be a part of it I’ve left all the info at the end, but I’ve rambled enough,let’s get straight into it.

Get to Know Me questions

 

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

 I would say, “I’m a short, wild haired, goal obsessed, ball of energy!”

If your life was a movie what would it be called?

 ‘How to Move Mountains’

Which 5 songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

1. Dreams by The Cranberries

2. Wolves by Selena Gomez

3. Better by Maggie Rogers

4. Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

5. You Learn by Alanis Morissette

What are some of your short term goals?

1. Financial Freedom

2. Get my small business off the ground

3. Stay being consistent

Do you ever see yourself blogging full time?

Yes, writing is my passion and I seriously pray that one day I can say I’m a full time blogger.

Who inspires you?

Rachel Hollis, hands down.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

“Listen boo, chin up. Respect yourself. Love yourself so fully that you don’t need any “man” to. Shush your mouth, get up for work and hustle. Write down your goals, actually have goals. Speak up for yourself. Don’t take yourself so serious. Life is fun and beautiful. Live in the present. Send handwritten notes to your friends. Live a little, live responsibly.”

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General Mental Health Questions

Why do you think mental health has been a topic people avoided talking about for such a long time?

I think people avoided it, because they were told to. It was taboo, because people said it was. Everyone expected their lives to come off as prim and proper, there wasn’t room for mental illness. It was shameful. But now, I think mostly due to internet access and social media, our human connection has become so great that we realized, ‘hey this isn’t so taboo, there’s a lot of other people out there like me”. And I think that’s truly beautiful progression.

Do you think receiving an official diagnosis matters?

Nope, I really don’t. I think self awareness is really powerful and that’s the first step to realizing you need help.

How do you deal with family/people that don’t understand or believe you about your mental health issues?

I’ve really not come across anyone that has challenged my eating disorder or depression. If someone were to, I’d simply ignore it. I know my truth and that’s all that matters.

Does time really heal?

Time really does heal all wounds. There’s no set time frame on when it’ll happen, but yes one morning you will wake up and your pain won’t be the first thing you think of.

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Eating disorders

When did you first begin to feel like you needed to get help?

I never initially felt like I needed help for an eating disorder. I truly just felt like I was dieting and doing a damn good job. It wasn’t until I went to my general practitioner for help with my depression that I was put on Celexa (antidepressant) and began to gain weight from that medicine. It wasn’t until I gained healthy weight back, that I realized I had a problem.

How did your parents and friends react to finding out about your eating disorder?

My mom was fighting cancer at the time. She had 13 surgeries over the course of 3 years. She didn’t realize I had a problem, because she just was going through so much. I know, looking back, my dad was worried. He would say things like, “you don’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.” and he would fix me food sometimes in an attempt to help. No one else ever said anything to me about my anorexia until after I was healthy again. They said things like, “Yeah you did get really small. I was worried.” But that didn’t do much for me in my struggle.

What’s the worst reaction you’ve had to telling someone about your eating disorder, and how has that experience taught you to deal with negative reactions since then?

I’ve not had a bad reaction. I recently for the first time talked about my eating disorder publicly on my blog. I had a lot of women come to me and thank me for sharing. Some even told me about their current eating disorder they are seeking help for and they are in my prayers so fiercely

What was the turning point for you that motivated you to start your recovery journey?

I realized after my kidney transplant that I’d never took the time to allow myself to heal from my ED. I decided that since I got a new lease on life, I wasn’t going to let my ED creep back in and control my life. I decided I would be in control this time around and would be the healthiest version of me that I can possibly achieve.

What’s been the hardest thing about your recovery?

Self talk. Not allowing myself to talk down on myself. I practice looking at my reflection and say out loud the things I love, even if it’s hard.

What are a few things you wish you’d known at the start of your recovery journey?

I wish I had known that talking about it, is okay. That talking about it would lead to ultimate healing.

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Body image

As you’ve got older, have you become more or less self-conscious about your body?

Much less self-conscious.

What was the largest contributing factor to the security/lack of security you have in your body?

Growing up I had a lot of people in my life that would comment negatively on my body. Their voices lingered in my mind for years and eventually morphed into my own voice. Beating that voice, changing that voice in my head, has been a life changer.

Do you think teenage boys or girls have a worse body image and why?

Honestly, I think it is probably more intense within teenagers in general. Especially now with social media. It’s so easy for them to see thousands of girls and guys who are what they would consider “average people” on Instagram that are “body goals” or “insta models” or whatever they put into the world. Those things are fine, but I think a younger audience is more swayed by that and it can be really damaging to a not fully matured mind.

What advice would you give someone with poor body image?

Love yourself fully. Find the motivation deep inside you to fight for yourself. You’re more than worth it. Your body is strong, it’s a temple, it’s a vessel. Take care of it and your body image will improve by tenfold. Speak your self-love into existence!

Jennifer’s blog

Jennifer’s Twitter

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I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

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xxxChips

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Journal, Thoughts

its not 11:11 but here’s my one wish for you in 2019

In 2019,

I hope that whatever happens you choose to love yourself and be happy. And not give up when you feel like those aren’t options anymore. You’re incredible, even if you don’t see that yet. I believe in you

I love you endlessly

xxxChips

Thank you for putting up with me, and loving me and caring and being you. Thank you for being the reason I didn’t give up completely, and for being the reason I got back up. I appreciate you. And you will always be more than just a pretty face.

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Thoughts

my 2019 goals|blogmas 2018

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that his year hadn’t gone the way I wanted it to. For the longest time I stopped trying, I just…didn’t see the point in anything.

Starting the year off that way, I feel, was the reason the rest of the year more or less continued to be filled with a lot of sadness and more-than-occasional self loathing. But I can’t pretend the year was all that horrible. I made new friends, stayed in touch with a few of my old ones, watched my best friend’s dream of writing a series come true and had the honor of having my name be in the dedication. I travelled, ate a corn dog for the first time, hit a major blogging goal of mine and opened up more on here.

There have been high highs and incredibly low lows but overall I’m not as happy as I want to be. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that sometimes happiness is a decision. There are bad days, that’s normal, but the only way you get past that is by actively trying to create some sort of change,and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

changing my life in 365 days

a list of things i will achieve in 2019

Listen to new music

Music has always had a major impact on me. Recently, my sister and I were having a conversation about mental health and our lives and one of the things that came up was how changing the music she listened to impacted her happiness. To summarize what she said it was something along the lines of ‘it’s comforting to listen to ‘sad’ music but at the end of the day nothing changes, it’s just you listening to the same music and you’re just replaying the same sad events over and over again for months’ and that made perfect sense to me.

In 2019, I intend to say goodbye to some of the songs I used to listen to, in hopes that if I stop replaying the past I can make a future for myself that makes my heart happy.

Join a sports team

One of my major goals for 2019 is to get my health at a good place. I spent a bunch of time in and out of hospital being treated for anemia and it was the most frustrating thing ever. Mainly because I was too weak to do a lot of things. I stopped doing sport at the beginning of April, as some of you may know I ended up in a mental health facility or to put it bluntly, rehab. For some reason I just haven’t been able to get back into being active again. I stopped exercising completely, which is why I figure the best way to start is at full speed.

Friday 6PM

If you haven’t already seen my post about this super exciting, super special, super important blogging series I’m starting in 2019, you should.

I just…

I want to give this my all. I want to make myself proud, and make you proud, and start a conversation, and help people, maybe even be part of the reason they decid

Invest in my future

Save. Save. Save.

Learn Russian

I think I’ve said this before, nope, I definitely have but I’ve wanted to go to Russia since I was 3 years old. That hasn’t changed. In fact, I probably want to go more now, than I ever have before. I’ve been learning Russian for the past few months but in between school and life, I’ve completely fallen off track. I need to get back on the bandwagon.

Be more social

Over the past year, I’ve become more and more anxious about social situations. The thought alone of having to make conversation or be around people was enough to give me a full blown panic attack. This isn’t the type of thing you jump straight into, it takes a bunch of small steps and I’m willing to try them, I don’t want to do anything halfway. I want to be able to contribute to conversations again and not have to question what I’ve said or what they’re thinking. I want to be able to do public speaking and debating again, I want my voice back.

Drink more water

People always ask me why I don’t have pimples, and everyone’s expecting me to give them this fancy facial routine and I can’t because I don’t have one. Truth be told, I’m too lazy to come up with one so water has been the one and only thing keeping my skin somewhat under control.

Speaking of skin, Em Ford has this new series, Redefine Pretty which I definitely think is worth a watch. Whether or not, you struggle with finding confidence in your skin the message is super important.

 

Work on my mental health

I have every intention of putting myself first in 2019. “Mental health over every damn thing”.

Write everyday

This comes along with my goal of improving my writing. The thing about blogging, and just writing in general is that they’re a million different ways of doing it and I want to experiment with that. My writing has improved majorly over the past year and that’s solely because I put so much effort into everything that I wrote, and whilst at the time I didn’t do it every day, I have since July and it’s already made such a difference.

It doesn’t always have to be these long flowy paragraphs sometimes it’s just, this is how my day went and that’s okay.

Organise my life

The last time I remember having my life together was January, right after I posted my How to Slay 2018 blog post and then life happened. I want to get back to the point in my life where I had a system that worked for me because that made school and blogging a million times easier. I’ve already kind of decided on the system I’m going to use, I used it back in 2017 when my life was still very busy but having that system made it a lot less chaotic.

Anyway Blogmas is coming up so you’ll be hearing all about that later.

‘Happy things’ journal

I know Jenna Koenig had something similar to a happy things journal except hers was for art. Mine is probably just going to consist of things that make/made my heart happy at some point. I think the main reason I thought of this was because it’s super easy to think of all the bad things in a situation and you never really pay much attention to all the positives and sometimes you just need a reminder.

Start my own K’s journal

My brother has this notebook where he writes all his observations?? I’m 99.9% sure observations isn’t even the right word, anyway, it’s full of quotes and thoughts and the other day I found one in the notes section of my phone. One of the things I loved about reading that note was that I found it at a time when I needed to hear that kind of message, that and it’s kind of like everything he says/thinks comes out sounding deep and philosophical and I love that.

Which is why I wanted to start my own because he wouldn’t let me have his lol. I just think it’ll be really cool to look back on this someday and have this book full of things that I learned/ got me through moments of sadness/chaos.

Rate my mood everyday

I could’ve put this under work on my mental health BUT I tend to forget about this type of thing if it’s not written separately. I’ve been using the app, Pacifica to rate my mood for the past week and it’s helped majorly. Once you’ve filled in your ‘mood entry’ it offers a bunch of suggestions to improve your mood/day, it makes finding the positives in each day so much easier and I can’t recommend it enough.

xxxChips

What are your goals for 2019?

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