Friday 6PM

Friday 6PM ft. Jennifer Bethany

Be the person you needed as a kid…

I’ve been going on about this series for a while now and I’m so thrilled to share this with you. A big thank you to Jennifer, who this wouldn’t have been possible without and to all of you for your endless support and kind words. If you’d like to learn more about Friday 6PM or possibly be a part of it I’ve left all the info at the end, but I’ve rambled enough,let’s get straight into it.

Get to Know Me questions

 

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

 I would say, “I’m a short, wild haired, goal obsessed, ball of energy!”

If your life was a movie what would it be called?

 ‘How to Move Mountains’

Which 5 songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

1. Dreams by The Cranberries

2. Wolves by Selena Gomez

3. Better by Maggie Rogers

4. Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

5. You Learn by Alanis Morissette

What are some of your short term goals?

1. Financial Freedom

2. Get my small business off the ground

3. Stay being consistent

Do you ever see yourself blogging full time?

Yes, writing is my passion and I seriously pray that one day I can say I’m a full time blogger.

Who inspires you?

Rachel Hollis, hands down.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

“Listen boo, chin up. Respect yourself. Love yourself so fully that you don’t need any “man” to. Shush your mouth, get up for work and hustle. Write down your goals, actually have goals. Speak up for yourself. Don’t take yourself so serious. Life is fun and beautiful. Live in the present. Send handwritten notes to your friends. Live a little, live responsibly.”

Untitled design (3)

General Mental Health Questions

Why do you think mental health has been a topic people avoided talking about for such a long time?

I think people avoided it, because they were told to. It was taboo, because people said it was. Everyone expected their lives to come off as prim and proper, there wasn’t room for mental illness. It was shameful. But now, I think mostly due to internet access and social media, our human connection has become so great that we realized, ‘hey this isn’t so taboo, there’s a lot of other people out there like me”. And I think that’s truly beautiful progression.

Do you think receiving an official diagnosis matters?

Nope, I really don’t. I think self awareness is really powerful and that’s the first step to realizing you need help.

How do you deal with family/people that don’t understand or believe you about your mental health issues?

I’ve really not come across anyone that has challenged my eating disorder or depression. If someone were to, I’d simply ignore it. I know my truth and that’s all that matters.

Does time really heal?

Time really does heal all wounds. There’s no set time frame on when it’ll happen, but yes one morning you will wake up and your pain won’t be the first thing you think of.

Untitled design (3)

Eating disorders

When did you first begin to feel like you needed to get help?

I never initially felt like I needed help for an eating disorder. I truly just felt like I was dieting and doing a damn good job. It wasn’t until I went to my general practitioner for help with my depression that I was put on Celexa (antidepressant) and began to gain weight from that medicine. It wasn’t until I gained healthy weight back, that I realized I had a problem.

How did your parents and friends react to finding out about your eating disorder?

My mom was fighting cancer at the time. She had 13 surgeries over the course of 3 years. She didn’t realize I had a problem, because she just was going through so much. I know, looking back, my dad was worried. He would say things like, “you don’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.” and he would fix me food sometimes in an attempt to help. No one else ever said anything to me about my anorexia until after I was healthy again. They said things like, “Yeah you did get really small. I was worried.” But that didn’t do much for me in my struggle.

What’s the worst reaction you’ve had to telling someone about your eating disorder, and how has that experience taught you to deal with negative reactions since then?

I’ve not had a bad reaction. I recently for the first time talked about my eating disorder publicly on my blog. I had a lot of women come to me and thank me for sharing. Some even told me about their current eating disorder they are seeking help for and they are in my prayers so fiercely

What was the turning point for you that motivated you to start your recovery journey?

I realized after my kidney transplant that I’d never took the time to allow myself to heal from my ED. I decided that since I got a new lease on life, I wasn’t going to let my ED creep back in and control my life. I decided I would be in control this time around and would be the healthiest version of me that I can possibly achieve.

What’s been the hardest thing about your recovery?

Self talk. Not allowing myself to talk down on myself. I practice looking at my reflection and say out loud the things I love, even if it’s hard.

What are a few things you wish you’d known at the start of your recovery journey?

I wish I had known that talking about it, is okay. That talking about it would lead to ultimate healing.

Untitled design (3)

Body image

As you’ve got older, have you become more or less self-conscious about your body?

Much less self-conscious.

What was the largest contributing factor to the security/lack of security you have in your body?

Growing up I had a lot of people in my life that would comment negatively on my body. Their voices lingered in my mind for years and eventually morphed into my own voice. Beating that voice, changing that voice in my head, has been a life changer.

Do you think teenage boys or girls have a worse body image and why?

Honestly, I think it is probably more intense within teenagers in general. Especially now with social media. It’s so easy for them to see thousands of girls and guys who are what they would consider “average people” on Instagram that are “body goals” or “insta models” or whatever they put into the world. Those things are fine, but I think a younger audience is more swayed by that and it can be really damaging to a not fully matured mind.

What advice would you give someone with poor body image?

Love yourself fully. Find the motivation deep inside you to fight for yourself. You’re more than worth it. Your body is strong, it’s a temple, it’s a vessel. Take care of it and your body image will improve by tenfold. Speak your self-love into existence!

Jennifer’s blog

Jennifer’s Twitter

Jennifer’s Instagram

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

Lets chat (4)

xxxChips

Advertisements
Standard
Journal, Thoughts

its not 11:11 but here’s my one wish for you in 2019

In 2019,

I hope that whatever happens you choose to love yourself and be happy. And not give up when you feel like those aren’t options anymore. You’re incredible, even if you don’t see that yet. I believe in you

I love you endlessly

xxxChips

Thank you for putting up with me, and loving me and caring and being you. Thank you for being the reason I didn’t give up completely, and for being the reason I got back up. I appreciate you. And you will always be more than just a pretty face.

Standard
Thoughts

my 2019 goals|blogmas 2018

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that his year hadn’t gone the way I wanted it to. For the longest time I stopped trying, I just…didn’t see the point in anything.

Starting the year off that way, I feel, was the reason the rest of the year more or less continued to be filled with a lot of sadness and more-than-occasional self loathing. But I can’t pretend the year was all that horrible. I made new friends, stayed in touch with a few of my old ones, watched my best friend’s dream of writing a series come true and had the honor of having my name be in the dedication. I travelled, ate a corn dog for the first time, hit a major blogging goal of mine and opened up more on here.

There have been high highs and incredibly low lows but overall I’m not as happy as I want to be. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that sometimes happiness is a decision. There are bad days, that’s normal, but the only way you get past that is by actively trying to create some sort of change,and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

changing my life in 365 days

a list of things i will achieve in 2019

Listen to new music

Music has always had a major impact on me. Recently, my sister and I were having a conversation about mental health and our lives and one of the things that came up was how changing the music she listened to impacted her happiness. To summarize what she said it was something along the lines of ‘it’s comforting to listen to ‘sad’ music but at the end of the day nothing changes, it’s just you listening to the same music and you’re just replaying the same sad events over and over again for months’ and that made perfect sense to me.

In 2019, I intend to say goodbye to some of the songs I used to listen to, in hopes that if I stop replaying the past I can make a future for myself that makes my heart happy.

Join a sports team

One of my major goals for 2019 is to get my health at a good place. I spent a bunch of time in and out of hospital being treated for anemia and it was the most frustrating thing ever. Mainly because I was too weak to do a lot of things. I stopped doing sport at the beginning of April, as some of you may know I ended up in a mental health facility or to put it bluntly, rehab. For some reason I just haven’t been able to get back into being active again. I stopped exercising completely, which is why I figure the best way to start is at full speed.

Friday 6PM

If you haven’t already seen my post about this super exciting, super special, super important blogging series I’m starting in 2019, you should.

I just…

I want to give this my all. I want to make myself proud, and make you proud, and start a conversation, and help people, maybe even be part of the reason they decid

Invest in my future

Save. Save. Save.

Learn Russian

I think I’ve said this before, nope, I definitely have but I’ve wanted to go to Russia since I was 3 years old. That hasn’t changed. In fact, I probably want to go more now, than I ever have before. I’ve been learning Russian for the past few months but in between school and life, I’ve completely fallen off track. I need to get back on the bandwagon.

Be more social

Over the past year, I’ve become more and more anxious about social situations. The thought alone of having to make conversation or be around people was enough to give me a full blown panic attack. This isn’t the type of thing you jump straight into, it takes a bunch of small steps and I’m willing to try them, I don’t want to do anything halfway. I want to be able to contribute to conversations again and not have to question what I’ve said or what they’re thinking. I want to be able to do public speaking and debating again, I want my voice back.

Drink more water

People always ask me why I don’t have pimples, and everyone’s expecting me to give them this fancy facial routine and I can’t because I don’t have one. Truth be told, I’m too lazy to come up with one so water has been the one and only thing keeping my skin somewhat under control.

Speaking of skin, Em Ford has this new series, Redefine Pretty which I definitely think is worth a watch. Whether or not, you struggle with finding confidence in your skin the message is super important.

 

Work on my mental health

I have every intention of putting myself first in 2019. “Mental health over every damn thing”.

Write everyday

This comes along with my goal of improving my writing. The thing about blogging, and just writing in general is that they’re a million different ways of doing it and I want to experiment with that. My writing has improved majorly over the past year and that’s solely because I put so much effort into everything that I wrote, and whilst at the time I didn’t do it every day, I have since July and it’s already made such a difference.

It doesn’t always have to be these long flowy paragraphs sometimes it’s just, this is how my day went and that’s okay.

Organise my life

The last time I remember having my life together was January, right after I posted my How to Slay 2018 blog post and then life happened. I want to get back to the point in my life where I had a system that worked for me because that made school and blogging a million times easier. I’ve already kind of decided on the system I’m going to use, I used it back in 2017 when my life was still very busy but having that system made it a lot less chaotic.

Anyway Blogmas is coming up so you’ll be hearing all about that later.

‘Happy things’ journal

I know Jenna Koenig had something similar to a happy things journal except hers was for art. Mine is probably just going to consist of things that make/made my heart happy at some point. I think the main reason I thought of this was because it’s super easy to think of all the bad things in a situation and you never really pay much attention to all the positives and sometimes you just need a reminder.

Start my own K’s journal

My brother has this notebook where he writes all his observations?? I’m 99.9% sure observations isn’t even the right word, anyway, it’s full of quotes and thoughts and the other day I found one in the notes section of my phone. One of the things I loved about reading that note was that I found it at a time when I needed to hear that kind of message, that and it’s kind of like everything he says/thinks comes out sounding deep and philosophical and I love that.

Which is why I wanted to start my own because he wouldn’t let me have his lol. I just think it’ll be really cool to look back on this someday and have this book full of things that I learned/ got me through moments of sadness/chaos.

Rate my mood everyday

I could’ve put this under work on my mental health BUT I tend to forget about this type of thing if it’s not written separately. I’ve been using the app, Pacifica to rate my mood for the past week and it’s helped majorly. Once you’ve filled in your ‘mood entry’ it offers a bunch of suggestions to improve your mood/day, it makes finding the positives in each day so much easier and I can’t recommend it enough.

xxxChips

What are your goals for 2019?

Lets chat (4)

 

 

Standard
Friday 6PM, Journal

FRIDAY 6PM

FRIDAY 6PM (1)

It’s been a hot minute since I last posted anything BUT I have an excuse perfectly good reason. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while now and I’ve been trying to tie up a bunch of loose ends surrounding it because when this launches I want it to be every bit as raw and real and incredible as I’ve been envisioning it for the past 2 months.

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless of what anybody else thought because it needs to talked about. It’s something millions, if not billions of people struggle with and there’s still such a lack of understanding and awareness and of course, a stigma surrounding it.

Friday 6PM

~A series coming out in 2019 where I interview people~

We talk about things like identity, self care, loneliness, therapy, disability, high school experiences, stress, bullying, toxic relationships, friends, anxiety, depression, body image, middle school, self love and their lives(goals, who they are etc.)- that and pretty much anything else you can think of related to mental health or life

The goal, I would say, is to talk about the things that matter to us, to have a place where it’s okay to start a conversation and you don’t have to tiptoe around a subject. I can’t possibly do this alone though so, if you could:

a) Comment the name and links of someone you’d like me to interview, this can be anyone (that includes you)

and

b) Ask a question, about one of the above topics or any other question you want answered in the comments

it would mean a whole lot

xxxChips

Lets chat (4)

INSTAGRAM|TWITTER|WATTPAD|PINTEREST

Standard
Journal, Thoughts

Dear Charliee-Rose #1

Dear Charliee

Sometimes I stop processing things, and other times my thoughts are so large I feel like my head is this infinite space I have no way of fully exploring and finding out more about. I get these dreams sometimes, they make my head spin and when I wake up everything goes fuzzy ’round the edges and it’s like for a second, just one second, despite it all, everything’s perfect.

And then I write them down because… Charliee, I want every atom in me to remember.

-2018/09/12

I haven’t been dreaming lately and I miss that. I miss waking up with a slightly achy feeling in my heart and a ghost of a smile on my lips at the memory of how real everything felt in the moment. Like the sky could’ve been pouring down gasoline but the memory would make everything perfect

x

Lets chat (4).png

Instagram|Twitter|Wattpad|Pinterest

Standard
Journal, Midding, Thoughts

Chatty update (again!)

Heyooo!

!!Trigger Warning!!

I honestly feel like I haven’t really sat down and just blurted stuff out in ages, which is why today you’re getting yet another chatty update. The past few months have been hectic and such a blur and I genuinely don’t think that’ll be settling down anytime soon.

I haven’t really shared anything that I really and truly was proud of this year apart from a few posts, boy talk, of course being one of the posts I’m majorly proud of, but I really and truly haven’t felt like a good blogger in a while because I couldn’t bring myself to write as much as I used to. In saying that I don’t mean putting out a million posts a week, I mean that, the posts I did write were incredibly short and I have never in my life written a long post, apart from my Get To Know Me|Q+A|REFLECT WITH ME, but the posts were incredibly short and it annoyed me to bits but at the same time it was the best I could’ve given you all in the head space I was in. And don’t ask what type of head space it was coz I still have no clue. The past 8 or so months have honestly been such a rollercoaster and I feel like my writing was definitely a reflection of that and it’s always been really obvious how many times my mood changed as you were reading one post but honestly, I was just… such a mess.

To quickly summarize the past few months of 2018, so you understand a bit more about what was going on, I’ll start with January, I guess.

I started the year off in Australia on holiday and because I couldn’t get a flight back home sooner, I ended up going to high school two weeks later than everyone else. I was in boarding school for the first 3 months of the year and it was a really traumatic experience for me. I was severely depressed and suicidal and I went though long periods of dissociation and it got to this point where, I pretty much, just stopped talking. I didn’t try in school at all, I couldn’t have cared less about doing my homework or doing classwork or paying attention in class and it was really scary to say the least.

April came around and after having a major breakdown at my boarding school at around 10pm, the school called my Mum. I’m not going to go into much detail because the last thing I want is to trigger anyone but I was scared for my life and I was absolutely hysterical, which is understandable given the situation. My Mum ended up having to come fetch me at around midnight and about 5 days later I was booked into rehab for numerous things but self-harm being the main one.

Around this time in April I didn’t really post anything because I didn’t have my phone and I was very much focused on learning to manage… life, I guess. I was put on medication and the suicidal thoughts went away and I began to talk again, thanks to all the lovely people I met in rehab who helped me learn to love myself again and helped me find confidence again, I still have a really hard time talking to people but it’s definitely a lot better now than it was.

I got out of rehab and one of the first things I did was write a letter. It was a letter for someone who had broken my heart multiple times and I still cared and still do care about quite a friggen lot actually. It was definitely one of the longest things I have ever written, anyway, I sent it off and long story short I sent it off to this person and ended up shattered again, not because this person did anything wrong but because I felt like I had made a huge mistake and I relapsed.

The next few months after that were very… confusing. I had no idea what I was doing with my life and it was just really frustrating. I started Klexos during this time (my other blog), it was this blank canvas that I could make a mess of, and I did, because nothing I felt like saying seemed good enough for this blog at the time.

We’re just gonna fast forward to today, what’s already happened, and what I think is happening and because tbh when am I actually ever certain of anything?

-I moved countries (this happened like 3 weeks ago and I thought was on holiday but nope)

-That means I’m starting at a new school with a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT curriculum and might possibly have to redo Grade 8 (I’m not quite sure how I feel about that yet)

-I’ve just discovered that I can write as much as I used to (and that feels fantastic!)

-I’m capable of making friends (after the whole boarding school experience I was really unsure of the possibility of me ever making deep connections with people, something I’ve always struggled with but, even more so after that HOWEVER lately I’ve been talking to some people and they’ve become really special to me and I’m not completely hopeless in the friends department after all)

-I wanna bring back Girlboss/ Guyboss but have it be completely updated and different just AMAZING

-I wanna share more writing on here (you can now go check all of my poems in the writing section at the top of the home page)

~~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~

That’s about it for this post really, I hope you enjoyed it! It was really just one of things I needed to put down in physical form, lol this is an online platform but nvm you get the point. Love you loads!!!

xxxChips

You are limitless

Lets chat (4)

Instagram|Twitter|Wattpad|Pinterest

Standard
Journal, Thoughts

creatvity… well losing it actually

Inspired by: Abi

5d9902c40a99d35fb54fd629d9babcd1

I’ve recently come to the realisation that I’ve lost my muchness. Any Alice In Wonderland lovers will understand where that first sentence came from. Which is why I’m trying something new but also bringing back something old. I’m not sure how many of you saw my last post, you can find it here. But it felt a lot like me last year. It’s important to grow as a person but I’m not growing if I leave behind my roots. My creative side.

Since the start of this blog, I’ve planned less than a quarter of all the posts on here. And I love that. I love how I  sit down whilst watching Netflix, scoffing down popcorn, sprawled on the couch and then I write. Because I think a thought which makes think. About a lot of things and I end up with posts like this:

SO THIS HAPPENED…

Which make me really proud and happy. So I’m trying some new stuff, lol, I love how I’ll forget I said that in like two days and then remember like two years from now.

BUTTTT

I’m trying some new and not-so-new stuff and we’re going to see where it goes from there.

LOVE YOUUUS

xxxChips

Lol, when the only consistent thing in your life is your mood swings

 

Lets chat (4)

Instagram|Twitter|Wattpad|Pinterest

Standard