Friday 6PM ft. Gayle

Get To Know Me Questions

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

Okay, this is can be difficult because obviously you want to make a good first impression but be completely honest at the same time, right? So, say if you walked up to me in a coffee shop and were like “hey I saw you over here typing really fiercely and kind of angrily on your computer, are you okay?” I would be extremely embarrassed because I probably forgot I was out in public and ramble something like this: “No, I was just really focused – I do that sometimes – sorry. I’m a blogger, I just get sucked into my writing sometimes, sorry for bothering you, I didn’t mean to. I’m okay, I’m just a bit awkward sometimes and I express myself a lot better through writing and art because I totally suck at expressing myself. I just hermit sometimes you know? I read a lot and – oh! I do photography – Sorry. Sorry for saying sorry so much but I really am sorry. Have a good day!” And continue to tell you my life story to try to mellow out the situation but really just make it worse!

What things would you say have shaped you as a person?

Ohh, I love this! What a great question! I would say

1) my family obviously, they’ve raised me and taught me to love others and that it’s okay to just be me, that I can be whatever I wanna be and to let my spirit run free.

2) This might be silly, but I feel like books have had such a big impact in who I am. I’ve experienced all of the characters struggles and agony right there with them, and even though they’re just stories, they’re real life lessons.

3) My mistakes. Everybody messes up sometimes and that’s okay, it’s part of being human. But what matters is if you learn from those mistakes and push yourself to be better!

What’s your big goal for this year?

Ahh okay, biggest goal for 2019?? You might wanna write this down (obviously so you can rub my failures in my face) *breathes deeply* to grow my blog big enough that I can turn it into my side-hustle and become an entrepreneur someday!

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Ten years is a long time…I see myself being 27 years old, settled down with a family, running my profitable blog from home while I homeschool my adorable little babies, and you know of course travel the whole entire world and meet every single one of you guys. Duh.

If you could have dinner with 3 people dead/alive who would you pick?

1) Chips, the obvious choice, who doesn’t want to have dinner with an angel?? …honestly just wanna skip 2 and 3 and cheat and have one big blogger convention and major sleepover – is that okay?? Please say yes, that would be a-maze-ing. Who’s in?

Who inspires you?

The entire blogosphere! Literally everyone is the best here, legit. How does this community not explode with so much love? My Mom! And I am not ashamed to say it! She encourages my plans for life because she wants me to bloom into my own person – who I’m meant to be.

General Mental Health Questions

How do you suggest going about finding yourself?

This is a difficult answer to question because I’m still on the journey of “finding myself”. That being said, I have noticed a change in myself and can see myself growing. My tips – because this is what has helped me – is that before you can even begin growing into who you want to be, you have to accept who you are now. You have to accept that your flaws make you unique and that you are only human. You have to use your imperfections as strengths to push you where you want to be. And you have to accept that you will always have flaws, no matter how far you come, they are a part of the journey and a part of you.

Have you ever struggled to separate your problems with mental health from your personal identity and what advice do you have for people struggling with that?

This is a big question, and I’m not quite sure what you’re asking, but I think I get it, so bare with me! I used to keep my anxiety and depression in the same folder as the rest of me, I had accepted it as a part of who I was, even though I knew i wasn’t always like that I had convinced myself it was never going away so I might as well give up on trying to ignore it, right? Wrong. We don’t realize it, but we start to believe every thing that we speak. And think about how often we go around saying “I have anxiety” over and over and over. But I found a method that works, sis, and it’s all in your mind-set. Are you listening? I refuse to accept anxiety as a part of who I am. Instead of saying “I have anxiety” start saying “I’m moving through anxiety.”

How to get help when you’re scared to?

Having mental illnesses is scary. They make you scared of everything and besides that – you never know if someone is going to take you seriously or not – so it’s easier to just stay quiet. I get it, I’ve been there. But we all need to find the courage to speak out about it, because there are people out there who truly care, and you deserve relief and love. So, I would try to carefully bring it up with a close and trusted friend, a parent, or actually – start a blog and discuss it with other bloggers because mental illnesses are a very common thing. No, that doesn’t make them any easier to deal with, but at least you’ll know you’re not alone. Keep your chin up, lovely, you can do this.

What is the one thing you did or changed in your life that helped you improve your mental health most?

Mind-set. You’re thoughts are your most valuable asset, they’re what controls you. But technically, you control them so think happy thoughts! It’s a hard habit to get into to, but don’t stop, keep working, find a group that inspires you to take care of yourself and become the best version of you. Do whatever it takes to make it possible to love yourself. Please.

Self-love

What do you love the most about yourself and have you always loved that part?

The fact I’m finally blooming into someone who is good and happy and productive and living! No I haven’t always loved this part of me because it has been buried deep, deep down inside of me covered by years of dust from my lazy inner demons. But I am finding an innocent love for myself again, and I couldn’t be more happy.

What 3 things have you learnt about yourself through your self-love journey?

1) It is completely possible to be happy again – don’t forget it, love, I promise you it’s possible.

2) I need to be thankful for my mental illness (maybe a love/hate relationship though), because it has made me strong and showed me just how capable I am of achieving my dreams no matter how strong something fights against me.

3) I’m a freakin’ queen for defeating my demons.

At what point did you decide self-love was really something you wanted to pursue and focus on?

Not to long ago – my boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me and I realized just how much I allowed my happiness to depend solely on him. After he was gone, I noticed just how lacking I was in finding happiness in simply being alive. The fact I wake up every morning, the fact I breath, the fact my body is capable of these feelings at all. I realized just how much I was missing, because I let my happiness depend on something that isn’t promised.

What’s your best tip for learning to love yourself?

Sis, you just have to give up and accept yourself for who you are now, in the mess and chaos, before you can move on.

What’s your version of self-care?

Self-care to me is everything. It’s taking care of yourself not only physically pampering yourself (though that’s important too), but also taking care of yourself emotionally and spiritually – because that’s where things get balled up.

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Gayle’s Personal Blog(Love Gayle)

(Gayle’s Second Blog (Love Her Savvy)

Gayle’s Twitter

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I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

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Friday 6PM ft. Bayance

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Get to Know Me Questions

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

Ooh well usually I’d just start with my name, age and where I’m from. But if I were to describe myself, I’d say I’m a people’s person who isn’t afraid to communicate her opinions and feelings and that I’m very passionate about justice, communities and turkish dramas (just kidding on the last one but hey, they’re really good)

What things would you say have shaped you as a person?

I’d say Islam is number one. Without it, I would’ve been completely different and probably lost. Also my experiences with people, reading and moving schools and homes a lot (getting to meet different people and being faced with different environments).

If your life was a movie what would it be called?

Hmm… “On Her Way To Save The World…once she stops procrastinating” Okay I really don’t know but my life so far might be “Mentally 40” or “Not Your Average Teenager”? So original, I know.

Which 3 songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

Oh man. I actually made a post called My Life In Songs describing my music phases so hehe, self plug there. But as in life, maybe Brave by Sara Bareilles, Never Be Enough and Titanium? I honestly don’t know.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Finished University and possibly engaged? I also hope to go into law or a political field so maybe a job there.

Do you ever see yourself blogging full time?

Honestly if I got the chance to, I would. I don’t think so now because my blog is very life based and I can’t imagine it with millions of views haha. But who knows?

Who inspires you?

My parents are super hard working and I get it from them. Noor Tagouri inspires me as well but I’m trying not to follow people’s footsteps and be my own boss. And spiritually, I should look up to prophet Muhammad because he was the best of mankind and treated everyone with respect.

General Mental Health Questions

What are your top five self care tips?

1.Smile (even when you’re not happy)

2.Reflect on your accomplishments no matter how small

3.Pray

4.Treat yourself (don’t go overboard but maybe a new outfit, a new meal..etc)

5.Take care of your hygiene and health (I need to follow this myself)

6.Bonus: TELL YOURSELF YOU BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE

How do you practice being kind?

SMILING! And complimenting people (it doesn’t have to be about looks). Just have a positive attitude and keep bad thoughts to yourself. It’s hard but with practise, being a positive person isn’t too hard.

What distractions do you find helpful?

I hate that I do distract myself but I really shouldn’t. Face a difficult situation head on and get it out of the way. But I distract myself by eating, watching Youtube and sleeping haha.

Does hearing other people’s stories help you manage your own mental health?

YES, it makes me so much more thankful and like I feel like I’m not alone. Sometimes people have advice for me and I have advice for them and it’s great connecting with people.

What do you think of the mental health area on social media that promotes/ romanticizes illness ?

ROMANTICIZES!! I know a lot of people disagree but ever since people started mentioning mental health a lot, rates have increased by SO much. I think people are having a hard time distinguishing between their emotions and name any hard or sad situations depression. And it sucks because now you can’t really tell the difference between someone who wants to be tumblr or someone who actually needs help. I think making mental health a little more private would be better. You don’t see people with cancer writing “very bad migraine today or back pain” on their stories. They seek medication instead which is what people should be doing here or at least talking to people privately.

Has being on social media affected your mental health and how?Do you think social media has a more positive or negative impact for someone struggling with their mental health?

NEGATIVE 100%%%. It has doubled my anxiety and literally anything I post I always second guess. Seeking validation has tried to suck me in multiple times and this drug called social media drains a lot of time spent on nothing and it just ends up making you feel worse because you’re constantly waiting for someone to message you and comparing your successes to other people. It’s terrible. In fact, yesterday, I unfollowed everyone on Instagram. Nothing to scroll hours on my feed and no stories that are so fake keeping me distracted. I’m done with it.

Self Love

What is your biggest insecurity and why do you think you’re insecure about it?

Hmm my voice? It’s really annoying in sound recordings hahah. I’m not that insecure about my body anymore but maybe my face? Like I don’t know eyebags and I just don’t have the best structure at all angles. I honestly do not care anymore because I don’t understand why I’d thrive to look perfect. My body is healthy and functioning and my appearance doesn’t matter in the long run.

What was the first step you took to overcoming that insecurity?

I guess I just stopped looking in the mirror as often and weighing myself. I just didn’t care about the little details and focused on what I could control like my personality.

Do you have any advice on learning how to accept your flaws?

You are more beautiful than how you see yourself – I promise. We get too used to seeing ourselves but to someone else, we are beautiful in our own ways. Our flaws make us human and I think it’s important to remember that you do not need anyone’s validation to qualify for beauty.

Have you learnt to accept your body?

Yep! There are obviously times where I’m like wow this picture sucks with me in it but I honestly don’t care much anymore. It’s just a temporary structure that holds your soul and will decompose one day as well. It’ll be replaced with something better and it just reminds you that this life isn’t perfect. I feel like we ignore that our bodies isn’t what’s on the outside but the inside too. And I mean literally. Look at how your body works together – all the cells, nerves and neuron messages making up and protecting your body from diseases. God made us this way for a reason and we shouldn’t compare our bodies to others.

Anxiety

What is your first memory of experiencing anxiety?

Grade 3 when I was overthinking. I was just thinking how we’re stuck in this sphere that’s rotating around the sun and how huge the universe is and how we’re going to die and the afterlife would be forever and aah forever and aah can I just undo my existence and aah it’s coming and aah time is passing by and gefyufbjhsj. I’ve accepted it and am now trying to work my way to prepare for what’s next but there are definitely still times where I’m still in shock with this all and how no one seems so sucked in to this world that they forget to really look around them and ask questions, me included.

What’s the worst thing about your struggles with anxiety

That the only way I can release it properly is to cry and pray. Which is good but isn’t too handy in public. So it just gets bottled up and I feel a pit in my stomach followed by a headache.

What’s your best tip for learning how to cope with anxiety?

Write it all down. Get it down on paper. Pray because God knows what’s in our hearts and what we’re struggling with and there are times when I’d be so overwhelmed and anxious and then after praying, I’d feel so relaxed like there’s no worries in the world. If you choose not to believe in God now, that’s your choice and you could always ask me questions but your soul needs care too and denying everything would just make it darker. Another way I cope is to cry. Your mental health is like a bladder sometimes and if you feel too much emotions, let it out. Just like how you’d pee or throw up, stress needs to be released too and I promise you’ll feel better after a good cry.

How has your anxiety affected your education?

Only last year. I was trying to work and the group behind me was talking really loudly and then I started to think about how I used to be part of a big group like that and then everything became so blurry and I started getting dizzy and my heart was beating fast and just all thoughts hit me at once and I had to leave the classroom. It sounds really pathetic but it happened a few times where I felt really down but it got way better. Sometimes we think bad days and feelings last forever but they don’t. I promise you, they don’t.

 

Thank you so much for having me, Chips! I loved answering these questions.

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Bay’s blog

Bay’s Instagram

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I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

xxxChips

Friday 6PM ft. Jennifer Bethany

Be the person you needed as a kid…

I’ve been going on about this series for a while now and I’m so thrilled to share this with you. A big thank you to Jennifer, who this wouldn’t have been possible without and to all of you for your endless support and kind words. If you’d like to learn more about Friday 6PM or possibly be a part of it I’ve left all the info at the end, but I’ve rambled enough,let’s get straight into it.

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Get to Know Me questions

 

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

 I would say, “I’m a short, wild haired, goal obsessed, ball of energy!”

If your life was a movie what would it be called?

 ‘How to Move Mountains’

Which 5 songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

1. Dreams by The Cranberries

2. Wolves by Selena Gomez

3. Better by Maggie Rogers

4. Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

5. You Learn by Alanis Morissette

What are some of your short term goals?

1. Financial Freedom

2. Get my small business off the ground

3. Stay being consistent

Do you ever see yourself blogging full time?

Yes, writing is my passion and I seriously pray that one day I can say I’m a full time blogger.

Who inspires you?

Rachel Hollis, hands down.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

“Listen boo, chin up. Respect yourself. Love yourself so fully that you don’t need any “man” to. Shush your mouth, get up for work and hustle. Write down your goals, actually have goals. Speak up for yourself. Don’t take yourself so serious. Life is fun and beautiful. Live in the present. Send handwritten notes to your friends. Live a little, live responsibly.”

General Mental Health Questions

Why do you think mental health has been a topic people avoided talking about for such a long time?

I think people avoided it, because they were told to. It was taboo, because people said it was. Everyone expected their lives to come off as prim and proper, there wasn’t room for mental illness. It was shameful. But now, I think mostly due to internet access and social media, our human connection has become so great that we realized, ‘hey this isn’t so taboo, there’s a lot of other people out there like me”. And I think that’s truly beautiful progression.

Do you think receiving an official diagnosis matters?

Nope, I really don’t. I think self awareness is really powerful and that’s the first step to realizing you need help.

How do you deal with family/people that don’t understand or believe you about your mental health issues?

I’ve really not come across anyone that has challenged my eating disorder or depression. If someone were to, I’d simply ignore it. I know my truth and that’s all that matters.

Does time really heal?

Time really does heal all wounds. There’s no set time frame on when it’ll happen, but yes one morning you will wake up and your pain won’t be the first thing you think of.

Eating disorders

When did you first begin to feel like you needed to get help?

I never initially felt like I needed help for an eating disorder. I truly just felt like I was dieting and doing a damn good job. It wasn’t until I went to my general practitioner for help with my depression that I was put on Celexa (antidepressant) and began to gain weight from that medicine. It wasn’t until I gained healthy weight back, that I realized I had a problem.

How did your parents and friends react to finding out about your eating disorder?

My mom was fighting cancer at the time. She had 13 surgeries over the course of 3 years. She didn’t realize I had a problem, because she just was going through so much. I know, looking back, my dad was worried. He would say things like, “you don’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.” and he would fix me food sometimes in an attempt to help. No one else ever said anything to me about my anorexia until after I was healthy again. They said things like, “Yeah you did get really small. I was worried.” But that didn’t do much for me in my struggle.

What’s the worst reaction you’ve had to telling someone about your eating disorder, and how has that experience taught you to deal with negative reactions since then?

I’ve not had a bad reaction. I recently for the first time talked about my eating disorder publicly on my blog. I had a lot of women come to me and thank me for sharing. Some even told me about their current eating disorder they are seeking help for and they are in my prayers so fiercely

What was the turning point for you that motivated you to start your recovery journey?

I realized after my kidney transplant that I’d never took the time to allow myself to heal from my ED. I decided that since I got a new lease on life, I wasn’t going to let my ED creep back in and control my life. I decided I would be in control this time around and would be the healthiest version of me that I can possibly achieve.

What’s been the hardest thing about your recovery?

Self talk. Not allowing myself to talk down on myself. I practice looking at my reflection and say out loud the things I love, even if it’s hard.

What are a few things you wish you’d known at the start of your recovery journey?

I wish I had known that talking about it, is okay. That talking about it would lead to ultimate healing.

Body image

As you’ve got older, have you become more or less self-conscious about your body?

Much less self-conscious.

What was the largest contributing factor to the security/lack of security you have in your body?

Growing up I had a lot of people in my life that would comment negatively on my body. Their voices lingered in my mind for years and eventually morphed into my own voice. Beating that voice, changing that voice in my head, has been a life changer.

Do you think teenage boys or girls have a worse body image and why?

Honestly, I think it is probably more intense within teenagers in general. Especially now with social media. It’s so easy for them to see thousands of girls and guys who are what they would consider “average people” on Instagram that are “body goals” or “insta models” or whatever they put into the world. Those things are fine, but I think a younger audience is more swayed by that and it can be really damaging to a not fully matured mind.

What advice would you give someone with poor body image?

Love yourself fully. Find the motivation deep inside you to fight for yourself. You’re more than worth it. Your body is strong, it’s a temple, it’s a vessel. Take care of it and your body image will improve by tenfold. Speak your self-love into existence!

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Jennifer’s blog

Jennifer’s Twitter

Jennifer’s Instagram

☼

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

xxxChips

FRIDAY 6PM

It’s been a hot minute since I last posted anything BUT I have an excuse perfectly good reason. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while now and I’ve been trying to tie up a bunch of loose ends surrounding it because when this launches I want it to be every bit as raw and real and incredible as I’ve been envisioning it for the past 2 months.

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless of what anybody else thought because it needs to talked about. It’s something millions, if not billions of people struggle with and there’s still such a lack of understanding and awareness and of course, a stigma surrounding it.

Friday 6PM

~A series coming out in 2019 where I interview people~

We talk about things like identity, self care, loneliness, therapy, disability, high school experiences, stress, bullying, toxic relationships, friends, anxiety, depression, body image, middle school, self love and their lives(goals, who they are etc.)- that and pretty much anything else you can think of related to mental health or life

The goal, I would say, is to talk about the things that matter to us, to have a place where it’s okay to start a conversation and you don’t have to tiptoe around a subject. I can’t possibly do this alone though so, if you could:

a) Comment the name and links of someone you’d like me to interview, this can be anyone (that includes you)

and

b) Ask a question, about one of the above topics or any other question you want answered in the comments

it would mean a whole lot

xxxChips

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