some mental health resources

Apps

(These are all free btw)

-Huddle

Available for: IOS

Talk through it together.

Huddle is an app for IOS users, it makes it super easy to talk about things you’re passionate about/struggling with, with people who have the same interests or have been in similar situations. They’re tons of groups for you to join about everything from body image to self harm to gaming. Share your thoughts, share your feelings, give advice, get advice but most importantly know that you’re not alone.

Unfortunately Huddle isn’t available for android users just yet but you can join the waiting list and be notified as soon as it is

-Bacon-The Game

Available for: IOS; Android

The rules are simple. Put bacon on everything. I personally use this app as a distraction and it works really well. Within minutes I’ve gone to stressed out to intensely focused on making sure my streak of bacon lands on Mona Lisa.

-Pacifica

Available for: Android; IOS

Do you ever feel like you don’t know how to just ‘be’ anymore? I remember when I had my first major depressive episodes, I eventually came out of it and I didn’t know how to go through a day and feel normal. I lacked interest in EVERYTHING, getting out of bed was one of the hardest things I had to do and I was barely eating because I had zero appetite.I use this app every day (at least I try to) to track my mood, journal if I don’t feel like writing and handle depressive episodes. The app offers a goals section

Calm Harm

Available for: IOS; Android;Online

The urge to self-harm is like a wave. Calm Harm is an app that helps you manage the urge to self harm using activities that fall into groups: Comfort, Distract, Express Yourself, Release, Random and Breathe. I’ve been using Calm Harm for the longest time, and it’s one of the most helpful apps I’ve ever come across. It’s available for IOS and Android users and FREE

 

FOR THE BAD DAYS

-MY TUMBLR

2019-03-02

So I recently started a Tumblr page because I needed a new creative outlet and there’s something really relaxing about spending hours on Pinterest looking for images to perfect the aesthetic I have going on on my Tumblr page. And I’ve gotta say, there’s something really therapeutic about looking at photos of cake😂🙈

Other tips:

  • Write a letter to yourself/ a friend
  • Write
  • Draw
  • Watch Netflix
  • Run your hands under cold water
  • Cry
  • Read  a book
  • Hold ice cubes
  • Clean up
  • Make a crisis box
  • Swear in another language
  • Memorize a poem
  • Tear paper
  • Call a friend/therapist/helpline
  • Listen to music
  • Take a nap

*I do not own the featured image on this post

xxxChips

 

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what i’ve been listening to lately #2

Just more songs I’ve been loving lately…

wow//post malone

 

hold tight//sabrina carpenter

 

broken//THEY ft. jessie reyez

“I’ll lie and say I didn’t come broken, I’ll lie and say you did it”

 

3 nights//dominic fike

“You can call me names if you call me yours”

 

bad guy//billie eilish

“so you’re a tough guy//like it really rough guy//just can’t get enough guy//chest always so puffed guy//i’m that bad type make your mama sad type//make your girlfriend mad type//might seduce your dad type”

 

What have you been listening to lately? Admittedly, I should probably be studying instead of blogging but my first 3 finals (yup, we’re writing three in a day) are English paper 1 and 2 and Turkish. I never study for English, just because I write everyday and read a bunch. But I want to clarify that I have no idea how I’ve been passing Turkish so far but guessing hasn’t failed me yet.

xxxChips

Friday 6PM ft. Jade

Get To Know Me Questions

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

Hmmm… I’d say that I’m funny, sarcastic, and I’m not afraid to speak my opinions. I’d say  I’m adventurous, and a risk taker.

What things would you say have shaped you as a person?

The three things that have shaped me the most as a person would probably have to be my disability, and being an immigrant, and a person of color. These experiences have made me in my opinion more resilient and determined to break down the stereotypes that I face. Which is why I started blogging.

What are your pronouns?

My pronouns are she/her.

What’s your big goal for this year?

Hmm… My biggest goal for this year is to be happier  and to have better mental health. If you read my blog then you’ll know that I have horrible mental health but my goal is to do something to help cope with all these feelings. Whether that’s going to see someone professional, or talking to someone, or just disconnecting from toxic people. I just want to get better and be in the best head space I can.

What’s your favourite genre of music?

 I’m one of those people with a really eclectic taste, I listen to everything from rap, to pop, to metal, to Indian music, to Turkish music, to Afro trap, to EDM. But right now I’m obsessed with French rap!!! My favorite song at the moment would have to be Hiro by Soprano!!!   He’s a French rapper and he is just brilliant!!! So I suggest you check him out.

What is your greatest achievement?

This is a hard one cause I feel like I’m a boring person.  However, I’d have to say that my greatest achievement would have to be winning second place in the swimming championship.

Are you right or left-handed?

I’m one of those unique individuals who happens to be ambidextrous. Cool, right?

Who inspires you?

I’m inspired by several people actually. I’m inspired by singers such as Kendrick Lamar and Stormzy. I’m inspired by the thousands of refugees risking their lives  looking for a better future. I’m inspired by the people on the streets lost to the eye of society. I could go on for days, honestly. 

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General Mental Health Questions

What’s your routine like on a bad mental health day?

On a bad mental health day I try to lock myself in my room and just exist in my own head. Or if that doesn’t work then I’ll blog about what’s bothering me in order to see if someone’s out there to help.  I’ve also found that on bad days writing specifically helps as well.

How do you deal with the thought that your mental health is holding you back?

I just know that I might be struggling now but it’s okay to take my time. It’s okay to struggle, and fail, and try again, instead of pushing myself until I explode. This took me a long time to master. And there are days where I still think I could be doing more but I’m doing my best and that’s all that matters.

How do you deal with loneliness?

Honestly some days I love being alone because it’s who I am, and I’m not bothered by wallowing in my cocoon. But on other days it sucks to be lonely and I feel like I’m drowning in nothingness. So on those days I try to find something that grounds me. For example, a friend, or a good book.

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Disability

What is your disability and how does it affect you?

My disability is retinopathy of prematurity which basically means I’m legally blind. That means that I can’t read print and I need my work formatted in an accessible way, such as braille, or electronically.

How long have you had your disability for?

I’ve had my disability since I was born so all my life.

What are some common misconceptions about your disability?

I think the most common misconceptions about my disability would be that I’m mentally  incapable, or that disabled people in general can’t have sex.

What do you hope to achieve through talking about disability on your blog?

I hope by speaking on disability people understand that I’m like them. I hope by reading my content you realize that disabled people are flawed, and wonderful humans who need just as much love as the rest of you. I hope you understand that if you pull back the layers of my skin, you’ll find blood too.

Which questions are off-limits when it comes to asking about your disability

The questions that are off-limits for me are about my sex life or if I’m a virgin. Just no… Please don’t ask. My thing is if you wouldn’t ask a sighted person then why would you ask me?

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Sexuality

Were you ever in denial about your sexuality?

Yes when I first realized I was a lesbian at the age of 12 I tried to deny it to my dying breath…but I realized that pretending was causing me to have a slow death.

What’s been the hardest thing about not being able to tell your parents/ friends about your sexuality?

  Well this one won’t have anything to do with friends since my friends all know that I’m gay. But I’d have to say the hardest thing about not telling my parents is feeling like I’m a burden at home and I can’t be my true self. Also I can’t tell my parents about my crushes.  Or bring my non-existent girlfriend home to them. And my parents probably won’t throw me a typical brown wedding so…

How do you deal with the stigma surrounding being gay?

I combat the stigma by blogging and sharing my  experiences so that other teens or whom ever feel less alone and don’t go through the shit I did.  I just want to show another disabled Muslim kid that’s okay to be gay, you know?

What is one thing you wish you could tell your parents about your sexuality?

I’d tell them that there’s nothing wrong with me, and that I don’t need a cure.

What are some of the reasons you haven’t come out yet?

The main reason is I’m not away from home. I’d like to come out when I’ve moved out so that if there’s a negative reaction I can make a quick escape.   Also I have a feeling if I do come out then I could be disowned and I’d like to be financially stable for something like that.

What’s the hardest thing about not being out yet?

Feeling like I’m not enough at home. Or feeling like I’m unwanted, and not being able to just kiss whom ever I’d please in public without my parents finding out.

Who are some icons that inspire you and remind you to stay true to your identity?

I assume these have to be LGBTQ so I’m going to say Kehlani.

Why do you think it’s so hard for POC’s parents to accept their sexuality?

I think it’s difficult for POC  parents to accept their kids because there are cultural differences and perhaps not enough resources for the parents to have access to.

How do you handle rude/insensitive comments about the LGBTQ+ community?

At the beginning I’d take those comments personally but now I just shrug it off and realize that I’m better off without those rude or insensitive people in my  life. It’s their problem for not being able to accept me, not mine.

Advice for handling homophobic relatives during the holidays?

 I’ve thankfully have never had to deal with this one because my relatives live super far but I’d have to say just grit your teeth and realize that those people in your family don’t deserve your time.

What is one thing you wish you could tell all LQBTQ+ POC?

I’d tell them to be themselves and to just hang in there cause it gets better I promise.

Jade’s Blog

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

Lets chat (4)

xxxChips

my thoughts on the terrorist attack in New Zealand

When I started this blog I made a promise to myself to talk about whatever I wanted to as openly and raw and real as possible. And somewhere in this promise, right at the end actually, I made a promise to myself to talk about everything except race and religion.

For a few reasons

a) I’m not as educated on these topics as I would like to be

b) There’s a bunch of backlash that comes with talking about those two things

c) As much as I believe those are both things that should be talked about, it also tends to divide people and I didn’t want this space to be like that. I wanted to have a space that didn’t have anything to do with either of those topics, a space where none of those things had to matter.

I say this a lot but I truly have grown a lot since I started blogging and there have been things going on for some time now that I’ve continued to ignore on here, for the same three reasons I gave above.

And I can’t do that anymore.

 

“You cannot be an ally if you shy away from confrontation

-Vianna Goodwin

If you watch the news or you’ve been on Twitter today, there’s a chance you’ve heard about the terrorist attacks in New Zealand. Earlier today, Brenton Tarrant walked into two  mosques in Christchurch New Zealand and proceeded to open fire at the people praying inside the mosques.

So far, there have been 49 killed and 20 seriously injured. The shooter, a 28 year old white man with an 87 page manifesto with anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim ideas.


To everyone who blamed his actions on mental illness I say this:

There is no excuse for a racist, radicalized adult who thinks it’s okay to hurt innocent people. And I would just like to clarify that not every terrorist has a mental illness and not every mental illness makes you violent.

He is not mentally ill, he is a terrorist. It is not just an act of violence, it is terrorism. And there is no excuse, there is no fucking excuse for the crimes he has committed.

Terrorism has no religion. No colour. No country.

D1trISgX0AAwEkx.jpg
I’m just going to leave this here for you to think about

This is about so much more than just a hashtag. This is about the 49 people who lost their lives today and the 20 others in critical condition.  This about the hate directed towards the Muslim community. To those who live in fear, who are not safe in their homes, in their mosques, in their cars and in their schools. Who go about their daily lives petrified, wondering if each day will be their last.

50 million hashtags or tweets or Instagram captions, may spread awareness, but they will only change so much in the long run.

Read the entire thread. And do something about it.

Your hashtag will not save a life, but taking further action just might.

I don’t want this to just be a headline. Big news today, and then nothing tomorrow until the next terrorist attack.

Here are some ways to support New Zealand’s Muslim community

 

self lo(ve)(athing)

Might Delete later

It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. Loving and loathing. Myself.

It’s something I’ve been becoming more and more aware of lately. For example recently I posted a photo of myself of my Instagram:

And in this moment, despite the fact that I wasn’t smiling, I was happy. I liked my appearance and how I felt, I liked my edgy hairstyle and the way my cousin’s hoop earings (that I originally didn’t think I could pull off) suited me.

Fast forward to two days later (today) and another cousin of mine and I decide to have a phtoshoot. And at first I’m excited because I feel pretty, and confident and all those other wonderful thigs you should feel when you’re channeling your inner model best friend

But that changes pretty quickly. As I look back on the photos, which I had felt so happy about at first, I begin to notice all the things I hate about myself.

My stomach for one. My flabby, strechy, grossly unattractive stomach.

And so I downloaded FaceTune, which if you don’t know, is a photo editing app where everyone covers up their biggest insecurities not limited to teeth and flabby stomachs.

And halfway through the editing process I paused and I swear in that moment I hated myself a little more.

I’m a big believer that everyone is beautiful and everyone deserves to love themselves. And here I was, trying to make my stomach look smaller.

So I stopped and deleted the app. And now I’m hiding out in a room in my aunt’s house, reading some previous Friday 6PM posts on body image as Mac Miller’s voice comforts me.

Thinking about that makes me think about all the times I’ve missed meals (partly because of lack of appetite, partly because I still can’t get the image of how much smaller I used to be out my head) and the other times I would be so sad that I would eat and eat until I felt so disgusted with myself that I would refuse to leave my room.

It just sucks.

I’m so aware of everything I do that I realise in the moment that what I’m doing isn’t healthy and continue to do it anyway.

I mean pro: acknowledging this means I can change that

Con: it still means for now I still lack positive body image

Here is the photo regardless because as much as I hate my body, I’d hate myself more if I didn’t share this regardless

xxxChips

*all credits go the owner for the featured image

what i’ve been listening to lately

🌙

where do i go? //VAGUE003

“all those, all of the pieces that they’ll, they’ll never show”

the motion //Drake

“when they need a favor from your man, they don’t leave you alone
but i guess that’s just the motion, yeah
….
then that phone doesn’t ring
when they got everything, that’s the motion”

can’t get happy(demo)//kailee morgue

“but my brothers gettin’ taller and I’m only feeling smaller”

“do you think that you could love me if i can’t get happy”

“I’m scared I might fade away if no one tells me I’m okay”

serial killer //Lana del Rey

“do it for the thrill of the rush”

stupid deep //Jon Bellion

“what if all the things i’ve done were just attempts at earning love”

Shutter Island //Jessie Reyez

“My straight jacket’s custom-made though”

“For a second I forgot I was a bad b*tch”

monster(under my bed) //Call Me Karizma

“monster, monster under my bed come out and play ‘coz i need a friend”

sweater weather //The Neighbourhood cover by Korantemaa

“head in the clouds but my gravity’s centered”

dna //Lia Marie Johnson

“they look at me like i look at you”

it’s not you it’s me //bea miller

“i’m leaving you for me”

🌙

xxxChips

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a million little pieces

15/01/2019

01:46

I don’t know if I’ll get better. Or if I’ll live long enough to finish my before I die list. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a friend like Leonard or meet someone who makes me feel the way reading Tigerlily does. I don’t know a lot of things.

But I do know I want to hold on. And I hope that I am strong enough to. I don’t know how long it’ll take for the scars to fade, or if I even want them to. But I do know that I live in a world where people like Leonard exist and that gives me hope.

I know nobody is planning on swooping in and saving me, for two reasons. One, I’m not a damsel in distress and two, the only person who will ever save you is yourself. I feel like that’s the only way I won’t relapse,getting better for the right reasons.

I don’t really know how to feel about a million little pieces but I know that it did something for me, and I don’t think I can quite put into words something I don’t understand yet.

But it was special, in its on way. Not like The Catcher In The Rye or Tigerlily or The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, books which mean everything and more to me.

It has it’s own special place in my heart.

I want to get better. I want to get better. Fuck. I want to get better.

I don’t know if I’m strong enough.

And it’s too late for a quote stolen off of Pinterest to save me now, or maybe even for love letters to myself. I think I need to accept and move on and be analytical and firm if that makes sense?

 My mental health is still being figured out and I’ll probably be recovering for the rest of my life but I do know what I need to do to get to the point I want to be at. And if I get there and I’m not happy then maybe I’ll give up. But for now I’m holding on. Partly for myself, partly because a part of me feels like I owe it to Leonard, a man I never even knew.

But I find it cool how you don’t even have to know someone and they can change your life. Impact you in ways you didn’t think were possible. I will grit my teeth and I will slug it.

I will take the bullshit if that means someday I’ve got my own apartment doing whatever the fuck makes me happy and that list gets completed.

I will pick up the million little pieces of myself and put them back together. Differently this time. I’ll do it my way. A million little pieces, and I can be whatever I want to be.

There is no blame.

Just a choice. Yes or no. A decision, I’ll have to make over and over again. To get better.

And I hope I choose yes.

I hope I choose to hold on.

For myself. And for a man I never knew.


I finished reading A Million Little Pieces by James Frey a while ago and I got the urge to write this the second I finished it.

I’m fine… I think