Journal, Thoughts

a bit of a mental health update

I don’t want sympathy on this post, I really don’t. I just need someone to understand that whilst they’re days when I feel capable of doing anything, I still have days where I lie in bed thinking about how I don’t like my body, and how I’ll never catch up with school and how I wish I had something to say instead of having to constantly write posts like these when I feel like I’m drowning or overwhelmed.

I just, wanted things to happen a certain way this year and that didn’t happen, and now I find myself in between a mix of self love and acceptance and hating everything about myself.

And I can’t help but think, life shouldn’t be this hard, why is it so hard, why is happiness something I feel like I have to chase after?

But I have no way of answering that.

Recently I went to see a psychologist, my first one since moving and it was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. An hour of her invalidating my every emotion, and then her trying to discredit my diagnosis and saying I was more or less trying to make a big deal out of things.

I have only felt an anger that extreme at one other point in my life.

From the very beginning I’d been unsure about finding help in this country, and if I doubted I would get help whilst I was here before, well now I’m certain.

For those of you who don’t know, the official diagnosis I was given was Bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified) and basically what that means is that whilst I don’t meet the criteria for Bipolar 1 or 2 the changes in my mood are still significant enough to be considered “abnormal”.

And whilst I was medicated for a while, that kind of got put on hold abruptly when I moved. To put it simply my views on medication are as follows:

If it helps: great

If it doesn’t: Maybe it’s not for you/ you need a different dosage or different medication

And since we’re on the topic of medication, there’s a few things I wanted to say,

I feel like a lot of people have felt like they were in a position to judge or make comments about me being medicated when they weren’t. See, the thing is UNLESS YOU ARE THE ONE STRUGGLING, 99.9% OF THE TIME YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR THE PERSON WHO IS unless you’re a medical professional, and even they mess it up sometimes.

So here’s what you shouldn’t do when you find out someone struggles with mental health problems and/or find out someone is taking prescribed medication to help them cope with those problems:

  • tell them they don’t need it
  • tell them they’re over-reacting/faking their issues
  • tell them that they’re too young to have all these issues
  • call it a phase

(all of which someone has said to me at one point or another)

Because none of the things listed above are helpful, or supportive or kind. They come from a place of ignorance and lack of understanding.

So instead of invalidating their feelings, tell them you’re glad they’re taking steps to get help. Tell them that you’re there to support them, and listen to them if they ever need someone to talk to, and then remind them, because it’s so easy to forget.

xxxChips

Lets chat (4)

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6 thoughts on “a bit of a mental health update

  1. Aw I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve had a friend who suffered from mental health issues since she was 11 and I admit that I thought it was a phase and that she was looking up to people that made mental health a normal thing that everyone goes through. I really just hope everyone receives the help they need before they harm themselves because that subject just breaks my heart. But there are cases where people have taken any sense of sadness or stress and called it depression and anxiety. And that’s why people often dismiss people with actual mental health issues because they assume it was like the other causes which is not okay. I will pray for you and gurl my dm and email are open any time! ❣️

    Liked by 2 people

    • I totally see where you’re coming from, and it’s really heartbreaking, knowing that so many people won’t get the help or support they deserve because mental health issues have been turned into more of a trend than anything. Thanks for your support B, it means the world❤️️ xx

      Like

  2. gayle says:

    Woah okay but such a lovely post💕 I’m glad you can talk about your struggles, even if it’s just here in the blogosphere. Mental health is a serious thing and lots don’t take it seriously anymore because of so many people “diagnosing themselves” who really don’t have it or understand what a big deal it actually is. It’s turned into a “mood” and society has encouraged people to say they have it, but there’s so many that just say it for the attention. It’s become popular to have bad mental health, and that upsets me so much because they don’t know the struggle. But know we’re here for you, and you. Are. Doing. Great.
    Xo💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • I completely agree with you, and I wish that society hadn’t romanticized it because it takes away so much from everyone who has ever struggled with mental health issues. I can’t thank you enough for all the kind words and support!

      PS: So glad you liked it❤️️ xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve written a few posts myself about my struggles with mental health & I agree it sucks having to bring up the topic or speak about it so publicly, but I promise it’s needed! So thank you for this & showing me that there are fellow bloggers feeling the same ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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